My failed attempt at socializing Millie.

Recently it has become a mission of mine to make sure that Millie plays with other children her age, well consider me the Titanic of socialization.

Attempt number one occurred on a Saturday when we decided to go to cartwheels and coffee www.cartwheelsandcoffee.com It looked like it could be fun and being on Cary Street there were bound to be young, "hip" parents there. We get there and there are two kids there which am thinking is good because it won't be overwhelming for Millie. We go to pay and turn around and both sets of parents are packing there kids up to leave.

Umm do we smell? Is my child hideous? WTF!

So we stay and play for an hour and no other kids come in. Ok so it may have been around noon (a typical kids nap time) and it was kind of warm out but I thought for sure there would be other kids. I also didn't realize that it is affiliated with a church until I started looking around and noticed that they had daycare during church over at the Byrd and saw this

I kid they didn't really have that sign hanging up in there so we will try it again on a crappy day when kids are sure to be there.

Well I was so gung ho about having Millie play we went to the CTC (Chesterfield Town Center for those no in the know)and go to their little kid play area. We make it over there and it's not very crowded maybe 5 kids so I think Millie can do this. It starts out fine we go in and she heads for some spinning toy and she is content to spin these blocks with pictures on them for about 5 minutes. Then out of nowhere this girl (who for the rest of this tale I will refer to as Snotasauraus Rex)comes over to say hi to Millie. Millie just looks at her because 1) she is shy 2) this kid is freaky looking with snot all over her face and 3) she has the look of pure evil in her eyes

Snotasauraus Rex says hi and then proceeds to tackle Millie pulling her to the ground. Millie loses her shit crying instantaneously and I do to trying to pry her off. The person "watching" her I can only conclude is her older teenage sister who is busy messing with her giant Real Housewives of Orange County looking earring and does nothing. I grab Millie and have to hold her for 10 minutes before she will get down. We try again it's fine for 2 minutes before Snotasauraus Rex comes over again and this time brings along her brother who is like the dinosaur that can spit stuff because he has snot and spit coming out of him and is getting it all over the place. Again she tries to attack Millie and I get in her way and knock her down like a linebacker.

Just kidding I do get in the way but do not knock her over. Her mother is back from wherever she came from (i think it's hell)and apologizes for Snotasauraus Rex saying she is the youngest of five kids and plays rough. I say it's fine because it is and I know that I am kind of overreacting because I haven't had Millie around too many other kids her age and Snotasauraus Rex is a kid and kids play. I am so going to be overprotective, I can't help it I am a control freak. Well what I couldn't control even with hand sanitizer liberally applied after "playing" was the sickness that has consumed my precious Millie Willie.

Millie has been sick for six days with high fevers, a rash and double ear infections. It has been the scariest thing ever, mainly because the fever and not knowing how to help her feel better.

We took her to the doctor on Wednesday and they said everything looked ok and to just give her Motrin. Well by Friday she still had a fever and now had a rash all over her torso and head, we call them and they say if she still has a fever the next day bring her in. Next day she still has a fever so we go to the doctor's where they proceed to tell us she has a double ear infection and they don't know what the rash is. They give us an antibiotic and tell us if by Monday the fever hasn't gone away she needs to come in for blood work. Holy Shit tell me why the frick she would need blood work and that nothing is wrong with her. Luckily today (Sunday)she woke up with no fever and the rash is going away. So I am being optimistic (against my nature I know)that everything will be ok and that Snotasauraus Rex didn't get the best of Millie just my heartstrings.

Being a parent may be the scariest, hardest and freakiest thing I've ever done but so far it's been the most rewarding.

Millie in a Dress with bo bo fake Ugg boots, I call them Fugs.

The Souchuns come thru again.

Yeah for Christmas time and beverages and FurReal.

Latte the devil dog that humps my mom's arm all the time.

Happy Holidays!

Aww her first baby doll.

Christmas did not go as expected.

For Millie’s big present we got her an indoor inflatable bouncer. Words can not describe how stoked Chip and I were to give this to her. Since the day it was delivered I had to restrain myself from opening it early and letting her get her bounce on but I prevailed over my inner child and waited til Christmas. First off once we opened it on Christmas and took it outside to start blowing it up Chip realized that he didn’t have the right adapter for the compressor we had so a few calls later we learned that his mother did and she said she would bring it over later when she came for brunch. We couldn’t wait so chip went and got it. So he got home and started blowing it up with Gramber (Greg & Amber) and my mom while I kept Millie occupied in the other room. Once it was blown up we let Millie walk into the room to discover it. Well as she walked into the room and saw the monstrosity she burst out into tears and not just little tears but full on bloody murder tears. (Much like her birthday) We tried to put her in it and you would have thought it was full of flames, snakes , broccoli or some other horrible awful thing the way she was trying to get away from it. For the rest of the day she stayed away from it like the plague and I was so bummed out b/c I was sure she would love it, goes to show you how well I know my child huh? Well don’t worry it wasn’t money down the tubes b/c the next day she got in it and loved it, she just gets in it and bounces her heart out and if I tell her to get in her house she will go in it just like the dogs…

The rest of Christmas was great, we had brunch at 2 and everyone came over and ate all the food that Chip and Kelly had made. We had a lot of food baked oatmeal, hashbrown casserole, grandpa’s special stuffing (mozzarella, prosciutto, pepperoni and garlic bread) ham, carrots and our traditional eggrolls that a friend of chip’s mother makes every year and gives us some as well and they are good! I wish I had taken a picture of the spread b/c it was a sight to say the least. Mille ate lots of oatmeal and the casseroles.

Millie got way too much stuff so it was good that Chip and I decided only to get her a few things. She was very fond of the creepy baby doll and stroller that Gramber got her, her fake cat we call FurReal b/c it meows at her and blinks (it’s creepy) and the book the Souchuns gave about a cat and sprinkles that I am already sick of reading. I think the best part was having everyone around b/c Millie loves having an audience and she had so many people to choose from who could follow her around watching her walk and point at the Christmas tree and the ornaments.

Next year should be interesting b/c she should have some concept of Santa and that she’s going to get stuff vs. this year where she just wanted to rip up the paper and sit in the boxes. Not that what it is all about but really who doesn’t like a present?

In other Millie related news she is a walking champ which makes going out in public a little bit more difficult b/c she want’s to walk everywhere and that isn’t always feasible and I am not going to put her on a leash that just seems cruel. She has more teeth coming in which has made her a little grumpier than usual but it’s a molar and that has got to hurt. Her total teeth count is up to 9 and they are kinda funky looking. One of the bottom ones is coming in behind the other two. I am betting that she will have the Cooke gap. I just hope this isn’t a glimpse of what her real teeth will look like b/c they be funky… We are debating putting her in daycare once a week b/c she needs to be around other children so she doesn’t become the kid who doesn’t share (AKA The Brat) I am really scared of her just getting sick all the time. We shall see.

Millie has also decided that she doesn’t give kisses anymore she will only blow you a kiss and she equates that to meaning goodbye however she will greet you with a wave and a very high pitched hi! Other words in her vocabulary are mama, dada, ball and woof woof. Chip says he taught her to meow but I have yet to hear that so I don’t believe it. When you ask her what a lion says she will say rowr while moving her hand in a clawing motion which is really funny.

Millie in her Snuggie

Cute Santas

Millie and Oola

Millie in her toy basket

So it's been a little bit since the last post. I had one all ready to go about Millie not walking and how annoying it was that everyone asked me about it and then the squirt went and walked so it was a bust. So yes Millie is full on zombie walking, sometimes with her hands in the air like we are up in da' club or something. She now is able to grab things off of the tables and pretty much everywhere else which means my "treasures" are all up high and I'm out of room for anything else until she learns and listens to my pleas of no.

We've decorated for Christmas which means the tree is in our front room that we are never in with a gate around it so Millie can't eat/destroy any ornaments and the dogs can't pee on it. I have all my creepy Santas in the living room and Millie points at them when I ask her where is Santy? We also have a big plastic Santa on top of our carport that Millie likes to point at and go "ohhh." Not to fear our annual Christmas card will be mailed out soon but I fear we can't top last years baby jeebuz card so you all will have to deal.

I have been busy crafting it up making Millie a Snuggie, felting wool skirts and sweaters to make wreaths and trees and hemming curtains.

I am working on starting another blog entitled "My Creepy Friends" and actually keeping this one up to date... Wish me luck.

Also Millie had her picture taken with Santa and she hated it. She cried as soon as I put her in his lap. It was funny.

Halloween/Pumpkin Patch

So last Sunday the fam made our annual trip to the pumpkin patch. As we are in a recession and all I didn't feel like forkin out the big bucks to get ripped off at The Chesterfield Berry Farm or The Ashland Berry Farm where it costs $ just to get in the door. As luck would have it I found this farm www.gallmeyerfarms.com . Not only is it close by but they have free hayrides! It is really a mom and pop place and Millie loved it. We got there grabbed a wagon and headed out to the pumpkin patch. Once Millie saw all of the pumpkins I thought she would lose her mind, all she could do was point everywhere and go "oh, oh, oh!" We let her play with the pumpkins and all the scarecrows then went back and paid for our pumpkins. We got 4 pumpkins for $19 and I even got a white pumpkin, which is my favorite. We will going back next year recession or not...

Ahh Halloween... My favorite holiday yet this year we did zero decorating mainly out of fear that Millie would try to eat anything we put up and or destroy any decorations. I decided we would go to the Children's Museum to play/Trick or Treat. It seems that every other person in Richmond had this idea and needless to say it was a disaster. After being told 5 different things about which line to get in we made it inside, and that's where it went downhill. There were so many people and kids were running wild it stressed me out. We made it into the little kids area which was a barn and since Millie was a chicken it was ideal, until I put her in the "Crawlers Patch" which is supposed to be for little ones who can't quite walk yet. They had oversized fake pumpkins, tomatoes and carrots and other fun stuff to play with and Millie was having a good time until these big kids who were like 6 or 7 jumped in there and started grabbing the oversized produce and throwing it around. Myself and another mom had to lay down the law and kick them out and then their parent's wanted to know why we were yelling at their kids, and we had to let them know that the area was for little kids henceforth the name "Crawlers Patch." They were pissy but left. I have no tolerance for parents who let their kids run wild. I already had to yell at some red-headed brat who tried to karate chop Millie at Kangaroo Jac's I'll be dammed if I let some kid throw a giant pumpkin at her. Anywho there were lot's of teenage "workers" at the museum who were too busy texting to keep any sense of order and we promptly left without Trick-or-Treating. Needless to say we won't be going back next year.

Millie had fun but since she will be walking next year we will hopefully be able to just walk around the hood and it will be much more enjoyable and much less crowded...

You can give me the award now for worst blogger ever, it's cool. I have been sooo tired lately I just don't have the heart to sit down and type, don't worry I'm not preggers again.

So Millie had her first birthday on September 5th and it was great. The theme, and I use that term loosely, was mermaids. I actually sewed a fabric banner, made paper garland flags and some other decorations which of course Millie didn't give to craps about but I was proud of myself. Chip as usual made too much food, (but it was all yummy)we had Tres Leches cake from La Sobrasita bakery on Midlothian Trnpk (a layer of chocolate and a layer of strawberry) and Millie got to hang with her main man's Henry and her new bestie Merit. We played one game b/c I love games (pin the bow on the bald baby) and when it came time so sing Happy Birthday Millie cried like nobody's business. It was funny. I think everyone had a good time and hopefully left stuffed and content.

The Souchuns came down from Connecticut and got Millie a wagon which i now have to take her out in everyday b/c she sits in front of the window and points at it repeatedly. It's good b/c it makes me exercise and Millie just bounces up and down while we stroll the neighborhood.

She is almost walking on her own, she has gotten braver about letting go so it's only a matter of time before all my beloved treasures will have to be put on top shelves or away...

I don't have a good tooth picture yet but the top two are coming in as I type so she looks pretty funny when she smiles. I am also sad to let you all know that Chip has taught her how to "raise the roof" which i lamented was way to 90's but her persisted and now she could be in a re-make of Cool as Ice.

We haven't had any success at blowing kisses b/c she just keeps hitting her head so that may take longer...

Well I haven't been keeping up with the blog mainly out of laziness and the fact that Millie is now on the move and is wearing me out.

In major news we made a huge road trip to Chicago for T-bird's wedding.

We broke it up some but we were still in the car for 7-8 hours every day, it sucked but Millie really only freaked out once so it could have been so much worse.

The wedding was booty-ful and fun, don't worry I got my dance on.

Whilst in Chicago we went to the Lincoln Zoo and the Shedd Aquarium, we learned that Millie loves monkeys and beluga whales.

We now have to constantly keep an eye on the Milkster she is crawling and in to everything. She likes to turn the Wii on and off and mess with the CD cases. She is also waving bye-bye and pointing at everything she sees. Her favorite thing to do is go look at the pictures in the hallway and try to tell us who she sees.

Millie and I took a plane ride to NYC to visit or CT. family. The plane ride up was sucky b/c we were stranded on the runway for 50 minutes b/c a VIP was landing at JFK. The VIP was Obama and while I voted for him I was totally pissed at him for making my baby cranky on the plane and stressing me out. The way back was much better she slept the entire time.

Our Ct. visit was great and Millie got to spend time with her main man Henry eating pizza, chocolate cheesecake and going for rides in his F-150 power wheel. We also attended Ned's high school graduation party. People I used to be his nanny and now he's graduating high school it made me feel old and like I should be a grown up but I don't feel grown up at all just like a kid with wrinkles...

Millie is having a mermaid themed b-day party soon and i can't wait for it. I can't believe it's been almost a year since I popped her out. We are planning to do a time capsule and a game or two but that's about it. I will try to stay on top of this thing...

Also we visited Michael Jackson's childhood home in Gary, Indiana on the way home. It was nine in the morning and the po po were in full force and lots of people were there taking pictures and leaving mementos. My favorite was the one dish glove laying on a wreath. Thanks MJ...

So next week Millie will be 9 months old! I know I say it all the time but I still can't believe how fast it goes by. I held a co-workers 5 week old baby yesterday and he was soooo tiny and it blows my mind that Millie was ever that small.

Millie has started pointing at things which I find to be adorable but I also think her farting is adorable so take from that what you will. Her teeth are also slowly coming up more and more and she seems to be doing fine with them. She still is an uber happy baby and I hope she stays that way forever (happy not a baby, that would be weird) but I fear the teenage years are going to be payback.

New things she is doing is making a clicking noise, scooting on her but like a dog and hating chunky stage 3 foods.

Here are some pics of our fabu new patio and Millie in her bathrobe. Scandalous!