boobearbaby

2011-06-24T00:01:00.004-04:00

So it has been a long ass time since my last post.
I have no good excuse but being busy.
Millie is getting so much older and saying some pretty funny ass stuff. I have a list of stuff but can't seem to find it right now (how convienient)but she has become extrememly sassy and amuses herself easily. The other day a man in a wheelchair crossed the street and she described it as a "man walking in his chair." The way children see things is really interesting. She also saw an alligator float in a pool and called is a crogagator.
A few weeks ago we traveled to Conneticut for Henry's birthday and to visit. We drove half-way on the way up and stayed in a hotel but on the way back had to drive the whole way, Millie was suprisingly good and only had one meltdown. (thank you portable dvd) Being in Conneticut made me realize how much Millie would love to have a sibling and be such a great big sister, she truly is a sweet little girl.

2011-03-20T08:18:00.003-04:00

I Don't Have No Horse's.

Well to say that Millie is a bit wee obsessed with boys is an understatement. When we ask her anything pertaining to school all she will talk about are the boys in her class and one in particular who she refers to as "my boy." Yes Maverick is her boy and when we ask her about her friends they are all boys. I am scared we have a boy crazed girly girl on our hands. I would also like to extend a giant F you to the brain trust behind 16 and Pregnant. That show should be listed under horror on the TV listings.

Millie would like a skateboard for her birthday and not just any skateboard a meme skateboard. How she knows what a skateboard is I don't know but I do know she is obsessed with them and keeps mentioning it over and over. If she ever gets one it will be accompanied by a giant padded bubble that she will be forced to skate in like John Travolta in this

that might actually solve my problems with boys as well.

The art of patience is something neither Millie or I have. I requested that she hold her horses the other day and she responded with "I don't have no horses." If we are not quick to respond to one of her demands she will now go and grab her stool and try to do it herself. This usually ends badly with stuff on the floor and a time-out in the blue chair. That stool has become a thorn in my side since it was intended to be used for brushing teeth and washing hands and now it has been an accessory in stealing chocolates and cookies.

We leave soon for a five day trip to New Orleans sans Millie. I am looking forward to the alone time but think by day 3 I will have had a Millie induced meltdown.

Chip is very dilligent about Millie's learning. He recently taught her how to fake burp. Yes thank you Chip not only have you taught her how to raise the roof, say peace frogs but now we can add fake burping to her repertoire. It us ally occurs at the dinner table and sounds more like she is about to up-chuck than a burp. I can't wait for Chip to teach her more important life lessons.

2011-02-18T22:09:00.003-05:00

Oh Hells Yes!
Today I went to an estate sale on my lunch break and nearly went giddy when I walked into a bedroom and on the bed was tons of vintage kids clothes. I scored about 15 toddler t-shirts ranging from The Dukes of Hazzard, Pac-Man, Smurfs and a sweet 80's sweater. Did I mention the Voltron sandals? Yes freakin Voltron totally 80's, brown sandals. I think I may go back tomorrow for more. Ahh estate sale high I love you.

2011-02-17T22:50:00.003-05:00

Photo Thursday
I am trying to update the blog on the regs now so we will see how it goes. I decided to have a photo shoot with Millie using balloons it turned out so-so. I bought bo-bo balloons so they were lame and I waited too late so had to use the flash some. It didn't matter much to Millie as she just wanted to play with the balloons anyway and didn't care that I was trying to be all artistic and shizz.

Millie is currently obsessed with dinosaurs and meme's as she refers to every princess or girl in a dress. I am glad that she can like both girlish things and boyish things we are at a happy medium for now. If she ever wants a Bratz doll I will however, loose it.

2011-02-11T23:29:00.002-05:00

Millie likes chocolate.

2011-02-02T22:53:00.002-05:00

Just a little somethin,somethin to tide you over until I finish the post I am working on.

2010-12-10T10:24:00.005-05:00

Ahh daycare.

I love that Millie is around other children which is making her less shy around kids, she doesn’t just stare at them anymore like a zombie she actually interacts with them!

(The Kevin Bacon zombie from The Walking Dead)

I love that she brings me home crafts and drawings to put up on the fridge. I love that she talks up a storm and sings all the time now, even if I have no idea what she is singing about but currently her favorite song is no doctor no no no all while shaking her finger back and forth. I hate that she has been so sick and that we have been to the doctor four times since she started in mid September, I hope her immune system catches up soon. I also hate that she has gotten possessive and has been hitting when she gets really frustrated. I realize that this is part of being two but sometimes girl can get the rage and it isn’t pretty. We have been doing timeout which seems to be helping some. I am glad that she is going and she really seems to love it and her teacher Miss Sammi and all her little friends.

The Pumpkin Patch

We went the first weekend in October to The Chesterfield Berry Farm because I had a coupon that got us in for free. I am thrifty y’all. But it also meant that our pumpkins rotted before Halloween. Boo!

Halloween

Millie was Count Cutie for Halloween. I bought this costume a few years ago at Marshall's because it was on clearance and I thought it was so cute and funny. Yes I realize that I bought it before I was pregnant and probably before I was even married but it was too adorable to pass up and it all worked out in the end. We ended up going around the neighborhood with our neighbors who have a daughter Millie’s age. It went reasonably well. The first house we went to we actually know the people so we thought it was a safe house to ease her into the art of Trick-or-Treating. Wrong. When the door opened there was screaming and a freaky mask, needless to say Millie started wailing and ran into the arms of daddy. They felt really bad but Millie was scared for the rest of the evening and would not go to a door until someone else had gone up first to make sure there were no monsters at the door. I also had issues with her candy choices. Almond Joy’s? Lame.

The aftermath: boogers, chocolate and “blood” stains

2010-09-24T16:47:00.003-04:00

So what have we been up to?

We went on vacation to the Outer Banks, celebrated Millie’s 2^nd birthday and experienced the hell that is known as the terrible two’s, Millie started daycare two days a week and we visited the Chesterfield Berry Farm.

Vacation

The beach house was nice just a little too Tommy Bahama for my taste and it was a pain in the butt to get to the beach through the “cleared” path. The path was overgrown with crazy plants that were obviously out to get us with their prickers. It was like a bunch of little Audrey II’s were trying to get our feet.

Millie did not like the ocean but she did love the pool, more specifically the pool steps. She just kept saying pool, pool, pool over and over again. She wasn't keen on being out in the pool so much but loved going up and down the steps collecting all the balls. We had a good time and Millie enjoyed her own room aka the master bath. Yes we made our daughter sleep in the bathroom attached to our room. Let me explain. The braniacs that design new beach houses either are really afraid of vampires or assume people on vacation don’t like to sleep in. You see the house was full of windows, which was great, lots of natural light, ocean views, blah, blah, blah, but not in the bedroom people. There was a huge arched window above the bed with no curtains so as soon as the sun came up the room was bathed in light thus waking up Millie at an ungodly hour and in turn we were up. I found this out the first night/morning when in the middle of the night Millie started crying (maybe 2-3 a.m.) so being the naïve person that I am I let her come “sleep” in the bed with me. Well that didn’t turn out so well about every 20-30 minutes or so Millie would move or roll over and say “hi mommy, hi mommy, hi mommy” and then when then as soon as the sun came up so was she. No sleep = No good. So our solution was to stick her and her pack-n-play in the bathroom. In our defense, the bathroom had to be the darkest room in the house and it was huge the pack-n-play practically fit into the closet so it really wasn’t that bad and it let Millie sleep past 6 a.m. It was a good time we got to chill with our friends and Millie got a tan. I however slacked at taking pictures so my bad.

Millie is 2!

Millie’s party was treat themed. That means I spent way too much time fretting over making fake lollipops and candy and cutting out cute ice cream cones and cotton candy for decorations.

I got lots of ideas from the interwebs, so thank you. We (meaning my mom) also made candy in the shape of mustaches, cupcakes and ice cream to decorate with. We ordered the candy molds from www.bakeitpretty.com and everyone (all 5 of you who read this) should look at their super cute baking stuff. I also attempted to make ice-cream cone cupcakes, they turned out o.k. but I need to work on my icing skills. Millie’s cake was a tres leches cake with strawberry chocolate filling from La Sabrosita on Midlothian Turnpike. The cake was delicious and there was hardly any left over.

Mmm cake

We set-up a kids play area outside with two bouncers and a water table and it worked out well as the kids stayed outside for the most part and enjoyed the awesome 82 degree weather.

Millie and Henry in the bouncer

We weren’t sure what to do about food and ended up going with sliders (so good), mac-n-cheese , spinach artichoke dip (by Kelly) and the Souchuns brought stuffed breads from Connecticut.

It was a good time but it went by so quickly, I felt like I didn’t get to talk to everyone. Millie got tons of great gifts and she loves her new kitchen, we have tea parties everyday followed by cupcakes and donuts from her pastry collection. I don’t have any good food shots, I was really off my camera game.

I will go over Millie being naughty and the Chesterfield Berry Farm in the next installment.

2010-07-10T14:22:00.003-04:00

So while I was in graduation hell at the beginning of June Millie and Chip went to the Outer Banks for Millie's first beach trip. I am not sure if it was because the water was so cold or because waves are just hella scary when you are a wee one but Millie was not into it. Chip did get some cute photos out of it so it wasn't a total loss. I hope that when we go for a week later this summer she will be more into it.

We are also taking another class at our local kids gym/art/music place, this time we decided to try a gym class. The class is full of rowdy boys and there are only 2 girls in the class. I seriously have had to restrain myself on more than one occasion from reprimanding either a child or a parent because the child is acting like they have been given a Red Bull IV and the mom is busy socializing with her friends. I don't get it. Why pay so much money to go to class with your child and then ignore them? And it's not only me the teacher said something to me about it so I know I am not crazy. Ughh am I going to have to suck it up and be nice to people I so utterly disdain so Millie can have friends?

2010-06-20T13:54:00.002-04:00

So I am attempting to upload some video of Millie in action via my new phone that I got for my birthday. I just picked two of them and am not sure what they are of but they should display her cuteness and ability to twirl.

I am still working on a post about Obi but every time I start to do so I cry so I've been putting it off.

I can say Millie is starting to say a lot of words and putting words together which is funny. She will say "bye bye da da" and "Osker no" and "do do." Normally I would think her saying do do is funny but not when Chip is trying to get her to call me do do and not mama. She already rarely says mama and it is driving me nuts I would lose it if she starts calling me do do. Its bad enough the she just calls me daddy. I keep calling myself chopped liver so I assume any day now that is what she will call me anyway.

Since the World Cup is going on there has been a lot of soccer watching going on in our house. I tend to be vocal when I watch soccer screaming and making crazy noises. Millie has picked up on this and now when soccer is on she also yells at the tv and claps her hands. I am trying to get video of it but she stops every time i pull the camera out.

2010-05-27T23:24:00.003-04:00

I miss all the bizarre things strangers bestow upon Millie.

Chip and Millie were at their usual breakfast spot that is always full of an older clientele (because there is a retirement home across the street). Well I guess one particular fine gentleman decided to use his artistic prowess and render a portrait of himself for Millie. Chip said Millie wasn't having any of it and was scared of this older gent and based on the drawing she was just in her fright...

Someone should warn Middle Earth that Gollum survived and has been spotted at the Paradise Diner on South Side.

What is more disturbing is the other side of the napkin/portrait

I hope that this drawing was not what he plans to do to Paradise but a manifestation of his hiney.

So this was not my planned post, I will have more this weekend with photos of Millie and a tribute to my #1 dog Obi.

2010-04-26T21:51:00.003-04:00

Neither Hair nor There

So I was a bald baby and stayed that way for quite some time (3 to be exact). Here is a classic Blair photo entitled Why is that Baby Boy in a Dress?

Now it seems that I have passed that legacy on to my daughter. She is routinely mistaken for a boy (because she isn’t drenched in pink) and now is getting a curl mullet. I get so jealous when I see other kids her age with long, flowing locks of hair. Chip routinely tries to put wigs on her to “see” what she will look like when she finally does get hair. I have to say it isn’t pretty but that may be because he isn’t using 100% human hair wigs. Maybe I should contact www.weavensteven.com

or just visit www.babybangshairband.com.

Really? Really? They make wigs or bangs for babies, I’m sorry as much as I wish Millie had hair those things are just creepy and hello what baby/toddler is going to keep that on? People be crazy.(the baby wig site is down, I can only hope permanently) So it seems Millie will just be follicle challenged for a while longer now and join me in the ranks of I look like a Boy in my Easter Dress Club, I just need to make sure her hair does not turn grey at fourteen too.

I need to thank the employees of the JEM Rubber Co. of Toronto, Canada, who in 1930 invented the

whoopee cushion and have enabled me to reprimand my daughter. Millie laughs when she toots.,you can thank Chip for that. So while cleaning out a cabinet I stumbled across a long forgotten whoopee cushion and thinking that Millie would find it hilarious I positioned it in her booster seat so the next time she ate she would get a real Bronx cheer. So the time came and I picked her up and sat her in her chair and as soon as she heard the cheer she freaked out insisting I pick her up and then ran and sat in the corner. I tried to show it to her and demonstrate how funny it was but she wasn’t having it. So now when she is doing something naughty such as climbing on a chair she shouldn’t be I say “Do you want me to get the Whoopee?” and she stops whatever she is doing and behaves. It really doesn’t help when you are trying to be the serious parent but can’t help laughing because you can’t believe your daughter is petrified of a fart maker.

Anyways it stays on the chair and she won’t get near it. I need to get rich quick re-inventing this into something else like the No Trouble Cushion or Toot Torturer and market it. Patent Pending, people.

2010-03-20T13:03:00.002-04:00

Spring Has Sprung at Casa de Cooke

2010-03-18T21:19:00.007-04:00

So were going to bite the bullet and join a group class with Millie. It is at Romp N Roll and the class we will be taking is called Tumble Tunes 1.

Check it out here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HrSN7176XI

JK.

It is basically a class where she can run around and play instruments and have fun and meet other wee ones. I am excited about the “bubble dance party,” if I can take pictures I will so you can see Chip and Millie get their bubble dance par-tay on. We hope this goes well and Millie can eek out a playmate or two. We’ll let you know after our first class this Saturday.

I am pretty sure this is the reason why I am all about this class for Millie:

Her name is Miss Balloonie and by now she has deflated into nothingness but for a good week she was Millie’s BFF. Sad? Yes, I know but hey that’s all I could come up with. Millie would carry her around the house with her and wanted Miss Balloonie to accompany us on car rides as well. She’s the closest thing Millie has to a friend besides the dogs.

We have also realized Millie in all her cuteness gets us/her free stuff. Case in point, every other Thursday Chip takes Millie to eat at a diner in the Forest Hill area. The diner is always full of older people b/c there is a retirement home across the street and let me tell you they love Millie and her sassy walk she has developed. It is a real hip swaying kind of walk very RuPaul-esque. Anyway as soon as Chip walks in all the waitress's come over to say hello and the cook Lois comes out to say hi to her baby girl and asks if she can go ahead and make Millie's order. (Pancakes, applesauce and bacon) It is usually out and on the table by the time they settle in to their seats. Millie just sits there and waves at everyone with her pancakes and talks real loud. I guess last week the dishwasher came out and told Millie he had a present for her and then proceeded to give her a one dollar bill which she promptly handed to Chip (girl knows whats up). Chip gave it back because it was bound to be torn up by Millie if we let her keep it but it was a very nice gesture. Anyways they never charge Chip for Millie's meal, this has happened a few times now and I am starting to feel guilty b/c I feel guilty about everything and just because I don't want them to think we come there just for free pancakes.

In other news Millie has taken to throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way. I mean the fall on the ground, wailing at the top of her lungs type and she looks like this:

It was funny the first few times but now it's getting old so we are trying to do time-out's with her. These consist of me holding her on the guest bed for like a minute while she thrashes around like a mad woman screaming and crying. We shall see if they do anything.

In other news Millie had her first real sickness last week. I guess it was a stomach bug that involved her first puking experience which she was freaked out by. I got home from work and my mom was putting her jammies on b/c she had just given her a bath and said she wasn't feeling well. I went and sat on the floor so she could come over and sit with me and when she got within a foot of me she started projectile vomiting. I of course was in her direct path and it all landed on me, it was like this but not green

The only thing I could do was laugh b/c it was so gross and actually kind of funny b/c my mother was just standing there watching it all happen and doing nothing. When I started laughing so did Millie so she could have only felt so bad. She threw up a few more times that night (don't worry Chip got served some too) and every time we tried to put a trash can under her she freaked out. I hope she doesn't get sick again until she knows to try and go in toilet like Chip and I had to do all weekend when we got sick as well.

Since the weather has been nice we have been spending lots of time outside in the back yard where Millie plays with all the Daffodils and chases Oscar around the yard. She loves to just walk around the yard and then sit on all the rocks. She will back her butt up to a rock but usually her depth perception is way off and she ends up on the ground but it is really funny to watch her do it and if she falls she just gets back up and wipes her knees and hands off. I am not sure where she picked that up from? I will take pictures this weekend of Millie in all her Spring glory.

2010-01-24T13:54:00.006-05:00

My failed attempt at socializing Millie.

Recently it has become a mission of mine to make sure that Millie plays with other children her age, well consider me the Titanic of socialization.

Attempt number one occurred on a Saturday when we decided to go to cartwheels and coffee www.cartwheelsandcoffee.com It looked like it could be fun and being on Cary Street there were bound to be young, "hip" parents there. We get there and there are two kids there which am thinking is good because it won't be overwhelming for Millie. We go to pay and turn around and both sets of parents are packing there kids up to leave.

Umm do we smell? Is my child hideous? WTF!

So we stay and play for an hour and no other kids come in. Ok so it may have been around noon (a typical kids nap time) and it was kind of warm out but I thought for sure there would be other kids. I also didn't realize that it is affiliated with a church until I started looking around and noticed that they had daycare during church over at the Byrd and saw this

I kid they didn't really have that sign hanging up in there so we will try it again on a crappy day when kids are sure to be there.

Well I was so gung ho about having Millie play we went to the CTC (Chesterfield Town Center for those no in the know)and go to their little kid play area. We make it over there and it's not very crowded maybe 5 kids so I think Millie can do this. It starts out fine we go in and she heads for some spinning toy and she is content to spin these blocks with pictures on them for about 5 minutes. Then out of nowhere this girl (who for the rest of this tale I will refer to as Snotasauraus Rex)comes over to say hi to Millie. Millie just looks at her because 1) she is shy 2) this kid is freaky looking with snot all over her face and 3) she has the look of pure evil in her eyes

Snotasauraus Rex says hi and then proceeds to tackle Millie pulling her to the ground. Millie loses her shit crying instantaneously and I do to trying to pry her off. The person "watching" her I can only conclude is her older teenage sister who is busy messing with her giant Real Housewives of Orange County looking earring and does nothing. I grab Millie and have to hold her for 10 minutes before she will get down. We try again it's fine for 2 minutes before Snotasauraus Rex comes over again and this time brings along her brother who is like the dinosaur that can spit stuff because he has snot and spit coming out of him and is getting it all over the place. Again she tries to attack Millie and I get in her way and knock her down like a linebacker.

Just kidding I do get in the way but do not knock her over. Her mother is back from wherever she came from (i think it's hell)and apologizes for Snotasauraus Rex saying she is the youngest of five kids and plays rough. I say it's fine because it is and I know that I am kind of overreacting because I haven't had Millie around too many other kids her age and Snotasauraus Rex is a kid and kids play. I am so going to be overprotective, I can't help it I am a control freak. Well what I couldn't control even with hand sanitizer liberally applied after "playing" was the sickness that has consumed my precious Millie Willie.

Millie has been sick for six days with high fevers, a rash and double ear infections. It has been the scariest thing ever, mainly because the fever and not knowing how to help her feel better.

We took her to the doctor on Wednesday and they said everything looked ok and to just give her Motrin. Well by Friday she still had a fever and now had a rash all over her torso and head, we call them and they say if she still has a fever the next day bring her in. Next day she still has a fever so we go to the doctor's where they proceed to tell us she has a double ear infection and they don't know what the rash is. They give us an antibiotic and tell us if by Monday the fever hasn't gone away she needs to come in for blood work. Holy Shit tell me why the frick she would need blood work and that nothing is wrong with her. Luckily today (Sunday)she woke up with no fever and the rash is going away. So I am being optimistic (against my nature I know)that everything will be ok and that Snotasauraus Rex didn't get the best of Millie just my heartstrings.

Being a parent may be the scariest, hardest and freakiest thing I've ever done but so far it's been the most rewarding.

2010-01-08T16:57:00.002-05:00

Millie in a Dress with bo bo fake Ugg boots, I call them Fugs.

The Souchuns come thru again.

Yeah for Christmas time and beverages and FurReal.

Latte the devil dog that humps my mom's arm all the time.

Happy Holidays!

Aww her first baby doll.

Christmas did not go as expected.

For Millie’s big present we got her an indoor inflatable bouncer. Words can not describe how stoked Chip and I were to give this to her. Since the day it was delivered I had to restrain myself from opening it early and letting her get her bounce on but I prevailed over my inner child and waited til Christmas. First off once we opened it on Christmas and took it outside to start blowing it up Chip realized that he didn’t have the right adapter for the compressor we had so a few calls later we learned that his mother did and she said she would bring it over later when she came for brunch. We couldn’t wait so chip went and got it. So he got home and started blowing it up with Gramber (Greg & Amber) and my mom while I kept Millie occupied in the other room. Once it was blown up we let Millie walk into the room to discover it. Well as she walked into the room and saw the monstrosity she burst out into tears and not just little tears but full on bloody murder tears. (Much like her birthday) We tried to put her in it and you would have thought it was full of flames, snakes , broccoli or some other horrible awful thing the way she was trying to get away from it. For the rest of the day she stayed away from it like the plague and I was so bummed out b/c I was sure she would love it, goes to show you how well I know my child huh? Well don’t worry it wasn’t money down the tubes b/c the next day she got in it and loved it, she just gets in it and bounces her heart out and if I tell her to get in her house she will go in it just like the dogs…

The rest of Christmas was great, we had brunch at 2 and everyone came over and ate all the food that Chip and Kelly had made. We had a lot of food baked oatmeal, hashbrown casserole, grandpa’s special stuffing (mozzarella, prosciutto, pepperoni and garlic bread) ham, carrots and our traditional eggrolls that a friend of chip’s mother makes every year and gives us some as well and they are good! I wish I had taken a picture of the spread b/c it was a sight to say the least. Mille ate lots of oatmeal and the casseroles.

Millie got way too much stuff so it was good that Chip and I decided only to get her a few things. She was very fond of the creepy baby doll and stroller that Gramber got her, her fake cat we call FurReal b/c it meows at her and blinks (it’s creepy) and the book the Souchuns gave about a cat and sprinkles that I am already sick of reading. I think the best part was having everyone around b/c Millie loves having an audience and she had so many people to choose from who could follow her around watching her walk and point at the Christmas tree and the ornaments.

Next year should be interesting b/c she should have some concept of Santa and that she’s going to get stuff vs. this year where she just wanted to rip up the paper and sit in the boxes. Not that what it is all about but really who doesn’t like a present?

In other Millie related news she is a walking champ which makes going out in public a little bit more difficult b/c she want’s to walk everywhere and that isn’t always feasible and I am not going to put her on a leash that just seems cruel. She has more teeth coming in which has made her a little grumpier than usual but it’s a molar and that has got to hurt. Her total teeth count is up to 9 and they are kinda funky looking. One of the bottom ones is coming in behind the other two. I am betting that she will have the Cooke gap. I just hope this isn’t a glimpse of what her real teeth will look like b/c they be funky… We are debating putting her in daycare once a week b/c she needs to be around other children so she doesn’t become the kid who doesn’t share (AKA The Brat) I am really scared of her just getting sick all the time. We shall see.

Millie has also decided that she doesn’t give kisses anymore she will only blow you a kiss and she equates that to meaning goodbye however she will greet you with a wave and a very high pitched hi! Other words in her vocabulary are mama, dada, ball and woof woof. Chip says he taught her to meow but I have yet to hear that so I don’t believe it. When you ask her what a lion says she will say rowr while moving her hand in a clawing motion which is really funny.

2009-12-17T20:49:00.004-05:00

Millie in her Snuggie

Cute Santas

Millie and Oola

Millie in her toy basket

So it's been a little bit since the last post. I had one all ready to go about Millie not walking and how annoying it was that everyone asked me about it and then the squirt went and walked so it was a bust. So yes Millie is full on zombie walking, sometimes with her hands in the air like we are up in da' club or something. She now is able to grab things off of the tables and pretty much everywhere else which means my "treasures" are all up high and I'm out of room for anything else until she learns and listens to my pleas of no.

We've decorated for Christmas which means the tree is in our front room that we are never in with a gate around it so Millie can't eat/destroy any ornaments and the dogs can't pee on it. I have all my creepy Santas in the living room and Millie points at them when I ask her where is Santy? We also have a big plastic Santa on top of our carport that Millie likes to point at and go "ohhh." Not to fear our annual Christmas card will be mailed out soon but I fear we can't top last years baby jeebuz card so you all will have to deal.

I have been busy crafting it up making Millie a Snuggie, felting wool skirts and sweaters to make wreaths and trees and hemming curtains.

I am working on starting another blog entitled "My Creepy Friends" and actually keeping this one up to date... Wish me luck.

Also Millie had her picture taken with Santa and she hated it. She cried as soon as I put her in his lap. It was funny.

2009-10-31T22:43:00.003-04:00

Halloween/Pumpkin Patch

So last Sunday the fam made our annual trip to the pumpkin patch. As we are in a recession and all I didn't feel like forkin out the big bucks to get ripped off at The Chesterfield Berry Farm or The Ashland Berry Farm where it costs $ just to get in the door. As luck would have it I found this farm www.gallmeyerfarms.com . Not only is it close by but they have free hayrides! It is really a mom and pop place and Millie loved it. We got there grabbed a wagon and headed out to the pumpkin patch. Once Millie saw all of the pumpkins I thought she would lose her mind, all she could do was point everywhere and go "oh, oh, oh!" We let her play with the pumpkins and all the scarecrows then went back and paid for our pumpkins. We got 4 pumpkins for $19 and I even got a white pumpkin, which is my favorite. We will going back next year recession or not...

Ahh Halloween... My favorite holiday yet this year we did zero decorating mainly out of fear that Millie would try to eat anything we put up and or destroy any decorations. I decided we would go to the Children's Museum to play/Trick or Treat. It seems that every other person in Richmond had this idea and needless to say it was a disaster. After being told 5 different things about which line to get in we made it inside, and that's where it went downhill. There were so many people and kids were running wild it stressed me out. We made it into the little kids area which was a barn and since Millie was a chicken it was ideal, until I put her in the "Crawlers Patch" which is supposed to be for little ones who can't quite walk yet. They had oversized fake pumpkins, tomatoes and carrots and other fun stuff to play with and Millie was having a good time until these big kids who were like 6 or 7 jumped in there and started grabbing the oversized produce and throwing it around. Myself and another mom had to lay down the law and kick them out and then their parent's wanted to know why we were yelling at their kids, and we had to let them know that the area was for little kids henceforth the name "Crawlers Patch." They were pissy but left. I have no tolerance for parents who let their kids run wild. I already had to yell at some red-headed brat who tried to karate chop Millie at Kangaroo Jac's I'll be dammed if I let some kid throw a giant pumpkin at her. Anywho there were lot's of teenage "workers" at the museum who were too busy texting to keep any sense of order and we promptly left without Trick-or-Treating. Needless to say we won't be going back next year.

Millie had fun but since she will be walking next year we will hopefully be able to just walk around the hood and it will be much more enjoyable and much less crowded...

2009-10-01T19:43:00.003-04:00

You can give me the award now for worst blogger ever, it's cool. I have been sooo tired lately I just don't have the heart to sit down and type, don't worry I'm not preggers again.

So Millie had her first birthday on September 5th and it was great. The theme, and I use that term loosely, was mermaids. I actually sewed a fabric banner, made paper garland flags and some other decorations which of course Millie didn't give to craps about but I was proud of myself. Chip as usual made too much food, (but it was all yummy)we had Tres Leches cake from La Sobrasita bakery on Midlothian Trnpk (a layer of chocolate and a layer of strawberry) and Millie got to hang with her main man's Henry and her new bestie Merit. We played one game b/c I love games (pin the bow on the bald baby) and when it came time so sing Happy Birthday Millie cried like nobody's business. It was funny. I think everyone had a good time and hopefully left stuffed and content.

The Souchuns came down from Connecticut and got Millie a wagon which i now have to take her out in everyday b/c she sits in front of the window and points at it repeatedly. It's good b/c it makes me exercise and Millie just bounces up and down while we stroll the neighborhood.

She is almost walking on her own, she has gotten braver about letting go so it's only a matter of time before all my beloved treasures will have to be put on top shelves or away...

I don't have a good tooth picture yet but the top two are coming in as I type so she looks pretty funny when she smiles. I am also sad to let you all know that Chip has taught her how to "raise the roof" which i lamented was way to 90's but her persisted and now she could be in a re-make of Cool as Ice.

We haven't had any success at blowing kisses b/c she just keeps hitting her head so that may take longer...

2009-08-08T16:20:00.003-04:00

Well I haven't been keeping up with the blog mainly out of laziness and the fact that Millie is now on the move and is wearing me out.

In major news we made a huge road trip to Chicago for T-bird's wedding.

We broke it up some but we were still in the car for 7-8 hours every day, it sucked but Millie really only freaked out once so it could have been so much worse.

The wedding was booty-ful and fun, don't worry I got my dance on.

Whilst in Chicago we went to the Lincoln Zoo and the Shedd Aquarium, we learned that Millie loves monkeys and beluga whales.

We now have to constantly keep an eye on the Milkster she is crawling and in to everything. She likes to turn the Wii on and off and mess with the CD cases. She is also waving bye-bye and pointing at everything she sees. Her favorite thing to do is go look at the pictures in the hallway and try to tell us who she sees.

Millie and I took a plane ride to NYC to visit or CT. family. The plane ride up was sucky b/c we were stranded on the runway for 50 minutes b/c a VIP was landing at JFK. The VIP was Obama and while I voted for him I was totally pissed at him for making my baby cranky on the plane and stressing me out. The way back was much better she slept the entire time.

Our Ct. visit was great and Millie got to spend time with her main man Henry eating pizza, chocolate cheesecake and going for rides in his F-150 power wheel. We also attended Ned's high school graduation party. People I used to be his nanny and now he's graduating high school it made me feel old and like I should be a grown up but I don't feel grown up at all just like a kid with wrinkles...

Millie is having a mermaid themed b-day party soon and i can't wait for it. I can't believe it's been almost a year since I popped her out. We are planning to do a time capsule and a game or two but that's about it. I will try to stay on top of this thing...

Also we visited Michael Jackson's childhood home in Gary, Indiana on the way home. It was nine in the morning and the po po were in full force and lots of people were there taking pictures and leaving mementos. My favorite was the one dish glove laying on a wreath. Thanks MJ...

2009-05-29T20:30:00.003-04:00

So next week Millie will be 9 months old! I know I say it all the time but I still can't believe how fast it goes by. I held a co-workers 5 week old baby yesterday and he was soooo tiny and it blows my mind that Millie was ever that small.

Millie has started pointing at things which I find to be adorable but I also think her farting is adorable so take from that what you will. Her teeth are also slowly coming up more and more and she seems to be doing fine with them. She still is an uber happy baby and I hope she stays that way forever (happy not a baby, that would be weird) but I fear the teenage years are going to be payback.

New things she is doing is making a clicking noise, scooting on her but like a dog and hating chunky stage 3 foods.

Here are some pics of our fabu new patio and Millie in her bathrobe. Scandalous!

2009-05-14T19:51:00.002-04:00

Ok still no Taggie photos but this weekend I will take pictures of that and our new patio! Yes Chip and I managed to make a patio that doesn't look horrible. Imagine that. It only took us a month but whatever it's done.
To hold you over here are some pics. I hope there aren't any repeats...

2009-05-04T22:46:00.001-04:00

Spring has sprung, which means Millie gets to wear cute dresses, bloomers and hats.
Also she has discovered her feet and she thinks they are delicious, she obviously hasn't encountered any toe jam yet. She is on her way to crawling as she keeps putting her hands down and squirming her legs but no actual movement yet, which is good b/c we are way behind on babyproofing. We needs to get on that. In monumental news I actually sewed something that doesn't suck... A taggie blanket for Millie after my mom lost the one we had on a walk. My mom is oblivious so she didn't notice when Millie "threw" it out of the stroller. Umm that baby can't throw things, my mom's dog Maggie (who rides in the stroller with Millie b/c she is an obese Chihuahua and doesn't like to walk) more than likely ate it. I will post pictures of the miracle taggies in a few days. They even look square, wonders never cease.

On a side note about my mom's dog, the thing is huge and it wheezes when it walks/waddles. When we tell her the dog is fat she says she has put it on a diet. "What kind of diet mom?" "I stopped giving her Puperroni." Nuff said. That dog is f'ed. *A glimpse of this dogs future

2009-04-12T12:18:00.003-04:00

Happy Easter!

Millie did not like the Easter Bunny, in fact she seemed terrified and kept looking up at shim like it was going to eat her. I selected the bunny from Chesterfield Town Center over the bunny at Regency b/c it was creepier and had glasses. I have decided next year to rent a bunny rabbit costume and set up a booth at the Easter Day parade to make mad loot, really it was crazy expensive for this picture and its not even centered.

Millie is becoming quite vocal and even said da-da, we aren't sure if she has made the connection but Chip is convinced she has and rubs it in my face. She likes to babble at her toys and now likes to slam her toys to hear the noise it makes.

We have started giving her solids 2 times a day and she loves it. She is getting better about eating and not making such a mess, except while at Grandma's b/c she comes home covered in food. It looks like my mom just throws food at her hoping some of it goes in her mouth.

Thanks to Amy and Henry, Millie has become obsessed with Taggies. You see babies love to play with the tags on all their toys etc... and not the actual toy so some brilliant and now rich mom made blankets, toys etc... that are just covered in tags, hence forth Taggies. Taggies ain't cheap so I have kidded myself into believing that I can make a Taggie blanket myself so we will see how that goes.... Thank You Amy and Henry again they are her new favorite toys.

2009-03-20T23:21:00.004-04:00

Ok so I interrupt our regularly scheduled Millie talk... On Wednesday night I got to re-live my tween years by attending the NKOTB concert (that's New Kids on the Block for those of you not with it.) We (Me, Erin & Tracy) got floor seats, they were expensive but I am 30 years old and could afford them so we got them, it was worth it. My plan for the evening was for us to go get there early and have dinner at Gibson's Grille but we quickly realized that was ever other NKOTB's fan's plan as well so we ended up hightailing it to Capitol Ale House. We got some drinks so we could be tipsy for the concert and Tracy got hit on by some dude who tried to say he was also a NKOTB fan, he was lying b/c he couldn't name any of them...So we left and on our way back to the coliseum some dudes randomly asked us if we were going to see the New Kids and before anyone could answer I yelled NO like he was stupid for even asking us that (of course I was wondering why he would ask us that were we that obvious) So we get there get more drinks and head to our seats at this point it is dark and the opening act is on the jabbewockez from america's best dance crew

You know the dudes with masks... they were lame from what we saw nothing exciting but we were there at the very end maybe they were better in the beginning. (more about them later.) So the lights come up and you can see everyone. OMG! crimped hair, neon NKOTB shirts, gay men galore, giant buttons and of course the two tallest guys ever right in front of me. I was not stoked I almost asked him if he would sit down for $20 b/c I knew he girlfriend had dragged him there. So the show started and so did the screaming, I screamed some but at one point we all had our fingers in our ears b/c it was too damn loud, get a grip ladies. They came out in all black and should have stayed in those outfits. They also changed into all silver and white ensembles which were lame. Joey was wearing a giant sparkly belt buckle and sparkly jacket. He needs a new stylist, it is probably the same person who told him to wear this

So they finish some songs and it goes dark, thinking it might be over I am pissed then the lights come up and they are freaking right behind us on this circular stage with a piano. People go ape shit and they sing 3 or 4 songs. While this is all going on the security people are all in a tizzy to our right with some giant long rope, we then realize they are going to walk right past us since we have the end of the aisle seats. Tracy goes into the next row so we can all position ourselves against the rope and when they come by I grope them all yes, even Danny but the best was I grabbed Joey's man boob and tried to rip a sequin from his jacket. So the rest of the concert was fun besides the stupid song they "sang" with the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls. She wasn't there in real life but on the giant screen behind them lame... Donnie was really funny and there closing song was Hangin Tough and they all had on their Celtics jerseys b/c you know they love Boston. When we left we went out by the tunnel that leads into the coliseum and girls were all around so we went and had a look. There were people milling about and I realized some of them were Jabbawockeez. So I had to start yelling at them to "Just Dance, it will be okay" (lady Gaga people) and some other dumb things. It was funny and they were laughing too and taking video of me yelling at them to dance b/c we missed them. Look for it on youtube. And then it was over, see you again in 20 years in your wheelchairs NKOTB.
Also they could have just used robots for Danny and Jonathan it was like they weren't even there.

2009-03-16T22:06:00.004-04:00

We went to the doctor for Millie's 6th month check-up, she is weighing in at 14lbs and 14 oz and is 25 3/4 inches long. Right now long and lean but the way she has been eating she may end up being a hoss. We started her on for real solids last week and she is lovin her some apples, sweet potatoes, and recently squash.(Don't worry her food is all organic, my baby don't eat no pesticides.) Today we fed her squash in the morning and at night and after her 6 oz bottle before bed she demanded 3 more oz, if this keeps up she will look like this...
This weekend we will attempt to make our first batch of baby food with our newly acquired food mill. We make a big batch of food then put it in ice cube trays and freeze it for later which is so much cheaper in the long run. I am scared however of when we get to making more complicated meals such as Umm gross I am not "making" baby food ham, the color of that stuff looks ill na na I can't imagine grinding ham up into a smooth consistency. Millie is also getting some more hair which is exciting for me since I was bald until age 3 and do not wish that fate upon my child. It is coming in on the sides which may pose a problem when she looks like an 80-year-old man with just hair on the sides. Girl best like hats.

2009-03-02T14:23:00.002-05:00

Yes there have been a lack of updates, I apologize whole-heartily but I was the sickest I have ever been in my life two weeks ago and just busy in general. But we did give Millie her fist solid food two nights ago. As you can tell from the pictures she wasn't that into it, but if you tried it (and I did) you wouldn't be into it either. Rice cereal is gross so we are going to move on to something a bit tastier when the snow peaces out and we can leave the house. Yes lil' ol' Richmond got snow like 7 freaking inches of it. Chip attempted to sled down our driveway but it is too powdery and he went nowhere. Millie didn't seem to mind it but the Oscar and Kevin were not having it, Obi loved it and was playing in it.

Millie will be 6 months old this week, I still can't believe how much she has grown and changed in such a short time. I also can't fathom how much I love her, seriously you can never imagine how much you will love your lil' booger until you experience it.

She has not caught on to rolling over still. She gets from her back to her tummy but then cries about it. I have tried letting her cry to figure it out but that lasts about 1 minute before I succumb to her tears and help her. We go to the doc next week so I can give you her latest stats then.

In other new I am going to see NKOTB in two weeks and we got floor seats! I figured I am old enough to buy the good seats so I should no matter the cost. Obviously I am not old enough to know better. At least I didn't go on the NKOTB cruise, but I thought about it...

2009-02-04T17:35:00.003-05:00

So we found out over the weekend that Millie does not like glasses. Chip says it's because he taught her to hate nerds. Anyways, Chip had a Superbowl party and Billy and Ben were there, both wear glasses and anytime she got near them she started to cry. It could be she just doesn't like Billy or Ben and really who would blame her? I kid. Millie rarely cries so it must have been the glasses. So this is a warning to not wear glasses near my kid or she may cry and I can do nothing to stop it but break your glasses...

In Millie fashion news we got her a bathing suit, it is a tasteful two-piece and not some skanky bikini so don't worry.

2009-01-29T16:45:00.003-05:00

O.k. so there has been a lack of content on here lately, my bad. I do have one question. Have any of you who read this blog sent me a subscription to Redbook magazine? Yes the middle aged lady publication. For the last three months I have been getting this magazine in the mail addressed to me and every time I see it, I get enraged. Does it look like I need to be reading Redbook? (besides the over abundance of grey hair) NO! That is for older women not me I just turned 30! I don't know why that magazine in particular makes me feel old but it does and I don't need a visual reminder on my coffee table so Redbook can suck it.

Millie will soon be 5 months old. I can't believe how the time has flown by and how big she seems now. She is currently working on rolling over, she made it over once and then couldn't get off her tummy and cried about it. In other exciting news Millie also spit-up on me for the first time the other day. Of course it was right after I had taken a shower and it got in my hair, I rinsed it out in the sink and thought I was good. I wasn't. The next day every time I turned my head to the right I could smell the lingering puke smell in my hair. So this is a warning to all, just get back in the shower or risk smelling like baby puke.

2009-01-23T21:18:00.000-05:00

so these are from the daddy photo session...

2009-01-18T19:43:00.000-05:00

More pics...

2009-01-18T19:28:00.002-05:00

So I am not sure how or why but we seem to have a pretty damn good baby. I mean she only cries when she is hungry, we can take her anywhere and she is content and lets anyone hold her with no fussing. Ohh and she sleeps like 10-12 hours a night. We went to a birthday party last night and she just chilled in her baby bjorn, chewed her hand then fell asleep in Tracy's arms. This however scares me. I know if and when we have another one it will not be like this, it will be hell on earth, there is no way we could be this lucky twice.

In other news a shout out to Amy & Jack who wasted no time in getting preggers. I am excited for them both and am especially happy that the "Milkster" will have a buddy, lets hope they like each other.

Ok here are some pics from the photo shoot we had earlier today where Millie went on a kicking rampage in her crib. I think we have a future swimmer on our hands or a tap dancer. Please let it be swimming, tap dancing will drive me nuts.

2009-01-08T16:49:00.002-05:00

We went to the doctor yesterday for Millie's 4 month check-up and she is now weighing in at 13 lbs 8 oz and is 24 3/4 inches long. Basically still long and skinny and doing really well, he said she looks great and seems like a really great kid. (He's right)

Millie has taken to playing a game while eating on the booba (yes that is what I call it) she will eat for a few seconds then stop and look at me then go back to eating and repeat. It is really funny b/c she usually gives me a big grin in between eating but it has made feeding 10 times longer b/c she keeps doing it. I do realize that if I ignore the behavior it will more than likely stop but it is so damn cute I can't. I am working on getting some video up here so you can see all the cute things she does instead of visualizing it, but there will be no booba shots, get your minds out of the gutter.

2008-12-30T13:52:00.003-05:00

Best Present Ever
Happy Babe

Merry Christmas

Pumpkin Patch

Millie Knows what's up

Happy Holidays!

Millie had a pretty uneventful Christmas due to the fact that she is barely 4 months old and unless you have lights attached to you she doesn't really pay attention to you. If you were a star that plays music and lights up then she would love you. We had brunch at our house then headed to Greg and Amber's (Gramber) for dinner. I was exhausted by the end of it but not Millie she stayed up the entire day and would not take a nap, she was like a little baby zombie by the end of it. Millie now enjoys talking to herself very much and we know she is awake in the morning when we hear her having a conversation with her mobile, it is very cute.

We head to the doctor next week so I will have updates on her weight and length. I forgot the camera on Christmas so there aren't any pictures in her Holiday outfit glory but I am trying to get the family to send me the ones they took so I can post them later.

2008-12-09T16:32:00.004-05:00

So Millie has started to laugh. The first time happened last week while we were all in our bedroom looking in our big mirror. She laughed hysterically for about 30 seconds while looking at herself in the mirror. Yesterday was much better because she actually laughed at me! Chip was holding her and I came up to her dancing to some Beyonce Single Ladies and I grabbed her hands to dance with her and she started laughing again. Chip said she was laughing at my dance moves but I know better, she likes to dance and she likes Beyonce.

We had Connecticut visitors for Thanksgiving. Beth and Mr. and Mrs. Souch made the trip down. (We missed you Henry, Amy and Dave) We spent it at Jim's in Church Hill and I think I saw Millie at total of 5 minutes b/c everyone was holding her. She was on her best behavior and didn't cry too much and wore the dress that Auntie Beth bought for her.

Nothing else too exciting is happening in Millieland. She is kinda starting to roll over and discover her hands. She has a lot of gas if you must know and that must be from her dad.

2008-11-18T11:08:00.002-05:00

We went to the doctor's last week and Millie is now 11 lbs 2 oz and 23 inches long at this rate she is projected to be about 5ft 6inches. I had hoped she would be taller so she could be a super model or perhaps be on America's Next Top Model cycle 45. Yesterday she grabbed a rattle and held it by herself for the first time, it was funny until she hit herself in the head with it and then proceeded to cry.

I go back to work tomorrow and I am really upset. I just don't want to leave Millie for 8 hours every day. Damn you economy, perhaps if things were better I could stay home or at least work part-time, maybe in a few months. I am afraid that I will miss out on so much but at least Chip will be with her for most of the time. OK I can't dwell on this any more b/c I just start crying.

On another important note. Have any of you read the Twilight series? Yes I know all you can think of are all those pimple faced teenage girls screaming for the vampire Edward and how much they love him.

Anyways the dork that I am I read the books and now will need someone to go see the movie with me as I am certain Chip will not be joining me as to save face. Let me know. At least I didn't do this.

2008-11-02T19:57:00.003-05:00

Ok a lot has happened in the past few weeks. Millie's Auntie Beth came for a visit, Millie started "talking", we attended Amy D's wedding to Jack and are getting ready to attend Erin and Gene's wedding this Saturday. Here are some pictures. Enjoy!

Some person trying to corrupt my Millie

Millie falling asleep in her Halloween outfit

Millie is very long

Action shot

Beth and Millie

2008-10-14T14:56:00.002-04:00

Short update...Millie now weighs 8 lbs 12 1/2 oz. It is a huge relief to now know she is eating like a champ and will soon fit into all her clothes!

2008-10-10T11:35:00.008-04:00

We went to the doctor this week and Millie is now a whopping 8lbs! We also found out her head is in the 50th %, her weight is in the 20th % and her length is in the 70th %. What does that mean? Basically that she is long and skinny and her dome piece is normal. She smiled at me the other day and no it wasn't gas or poop, it was a full on hey you are my mommy and are doing dumb things in my face that make me laugh smile.

2008-09-29T22:04:00.002-04:00

I know it has been a while. Well I never knew just how tired I would be, the most sleep I get is in 4 hour shifts and then its time for me to feed the wee one again and then it repeats like that. I feel like a feedbag and that my one goal in life is to make sure Millie gets food out of my boobies. If it were only that simple. Breastfeeding has been hell. Millie does something weird with her tongue and my nips are flat. We have been to the lactation consultant 3 times and go again on Monday. I am trying to stick this out for as long as possible to try and make it work. We shall see... In good news Millie is as of today 7lbs and 1oz that is a whole .05oz over her birth weight!!!

2008-09-07T20:22:00.002-04:00

Welcome Millicent Hazel 7 lbs and .05 OZ and 21 and 1/4 inches long...

2008-08-29T15:46:00.002-04:00

OK OK here is an update... We are at 37 weeks and counting, we went to the doctor on Monday and I am at 2cm dilated now and the babies head is down and in position. What does this mean? Nothing really except things are progressing well and oh yeah my cervix is soft which is good for pushing baby out. I think she will be early or that could be because walking and moving in general is becoming hell and I am over it. I know that I am over it due to the fact I don't even care anymore when people touch my stomach, I am to tired to give a shit or resist. Any woman who says this is the best time of their lives must not get out much or have a really boring life.

We purchased a waterproof sheet for the bed so if and when my water breaks it will not ruin our newish mattress. It also will come in handy when one of the dogs (most likely Kevin) pukes on us in the middle of the night. This has already happened, a few months ago I woke up with Kevin barf on me it was great and then Chip rolled over in it.

The baby room now has two closets, we got the freezer out of the house and had someone drywall the hole so now we just need to paint over the obvious patch. The closet is a mini closet b/c we kept the ghetto pantry which eats up some space but she is tiny and so are her clothes for the time being so she can deal...

In other news we got a stroller which i like and the dogs don't like. They keep peeing on it but that may have to do with Chip or I chasing them around the house with it. I would probably try to pee on it too. Oola likes it b/c I have caught her sleeping in it 3 times now. I think that is it for now as our computer is possessed and won't let me post any photos.

2008-08-08T10:06:00.003-04:00

Ok the nursery is also done. Thanks to Michael G. for painting Pom Pom Purin on the wall for us. It is adorable including the butt.

The wall of baby animals may or may not freak out the future baby, Erin mentioned that she was freaked out about some mushroom curtains that were in her room as a child and they had to be taken down so we may be in trouble with the creepy bears and lambs.

Now I will be conducting a poll for babies first Halloween costume. I will show you the choices below and then you can vote in the comments. Don't worry I am not going to take a 1 month old Trick or Treating b/c that is dumb but I do love Halloween so I will make her get dressed up for my enjoyment and laughter.

Choice 1

Princess Leia

Choice 2

Chewbacca

Chip wants nothing to do with this, he gave me the look of shame when I mentioned it, I think he is embarrassed.

2008-08-08T09:44:00.003-04:00

So what has happened since I last blogged... Well we started attending Prepared Childbirth classes where we learn breathing techniques and all about birth, me no likey. At the end of our first class we all (us and 3 other couples) had to get on the floor to meditate. I don't meditate and neither does Chip so when we are lying on the floor facing each other as the instructor tells us to visualize a mountain or some crap we start laughing. I don't mean someone burped and its funny kind of chuckle, but full on I can't look at the other person crying kind of laughing, it was embarrassing b/c everyone else was into it. Lame.

We also had a baby shower where people came from near and far (CT.) to celebrate Blair,Baby and Blair's 50 chins. Seriously all the photos that were taken I look like a huge blob so they will not be posted... They can't be on the Internet. I made Chip take pictures afterwards that do not feature my chins. Anyway the shower was fun but I was exhausted from preparing for it so I was kind of out of it. My bad. We played games where you smelled poopie diapers but really the poop was chocolate and you had to guess which kind, this was my favorite. We ate lots of food had delicious cake and then opened presents. Thanks to all who came.

Amy & Henry
Blair trying to hide chins
Pretty flowers

2008-07-16T20:14:00.002-04:00

For the last few nights I have been having baby nightmares. These nightmares consist of all the wrong things that I could do as a new parent, such as let the baby sleep on the floor or leave the baby alone for hours and then come back to a baby drenched in tinkle. It is really quite disturbing to think of this when I wake up since I am already hella nervous, this just adds to it. Not that I think the baby will be sleeping on the floor it just makes me more crazy. Also in one of these dreams I got home from a trip and instead of going to see the baby first I went to a yard sale next door.

I haven’t had too many bad experiences with people and pregnancy until last week when someone I work with asked if I was sure I wasn’t having twins. I wanted go all Chuck Norris on her and give her a serious beat down. Why would you say that to a hormonal pregnant woman? Why? Why? Why? This lady is dumb and always says stupid things but still I don’t think I look that big. Biyatch.

Chip and I attended breastfeeding class the other night and it was a real eye opener. First our instructor has helmet hair; it doesn’t move she must own stock in Aqua Net. Also, who knew so much was involved in breastfeeding. I learned several things: I am still brought to laughter at the site of boobies and so is Chip, the first month I will not be sleeping at all (b/c baby feeds every 2-3 hours for like 30 mins. at a time) and not all nipples are created equal. Since I have bobo nips I must now where boobie shields in order to prepare for boobie feeding they look like this

And make me look like I have double boob when I wear them. Good times. These should make mine and babies life easier when its time to start feeding.

I should also let you know that babies possess magical powers that they yield in the womb. Most of you know that I have psoriasis on my feet thanks to my crappy gene pool and I haven’t been able to get a pedicure for something like 8 years. Not anymore people the baby has made it go away! Really it’s gone so now I am free and clear to pedicure it up which I intend to do this Friday after I get my hair cut for the first time in over a year. My dermatologist informed me that as soon as the baby is out it will probably come back so either I need to stay knocked up like that crazy Duggar lady with 18 kids or deal with Psoriasis. I choose Psoriasis.

2008-07-01T18:21:00.004-04:00

OK just a brief update, we went to the doc on Monday and I had my glucose screening where I had to drink a nasty sugary drink (think Jolt Cola times 10) and then they took my blood an hour later. Well I got a call today saying I passed the glucose screening but not the anemia test. A booooo, so now I am on iron supplements. Being anemic explains why I have been so tired lately and why I got the shakes on Sunday and almost passed out and why i have been looking extra pale and goth but not this goth...

I have also been craving red meat which may have a corelation to my lack of iron and if anyone sees me eating paper, chalk or something else crazy slap me. That would be Pica where people crave non-food items. My ass may be hungry all the time but I don't think I will succumb to paper. Take that anemia (insert middle finger!

Other than that things look good and we now go to the docs office every 2 weeks, this baby is gonna be here in no time.

2008-06-22T11:05:00.005-04:00

I know I am the worst blogger ever, but in my defense I was gone on a little va-cay then had to air live 11 graduations over a 4 day period which = 14 hour work days and then we started our 4 day work week at work which means I have to wake up at the crack of dawn...me no likie.

We visited Ct. to go see the Souchuns and attend Henry's first birthday par-tay. We took the train stopped in NYC went to FAO Schwartz, chilled in central park then con't on to Ct. with Beth.

It was a nice time I would say relaxing but we were put to work (this is normal when visiting Ct. I am considered their 3rd daughter by osmosis so they expect me/us to act like it and do stuff) to help get ready for the party and by we I mean Chip b/c I was able to pull the pregnancy card and get out of any manual labor except juicing limes which afterward we all had forearms like this

We really did have a good time and enjoyed seeing Henry demolish a cupcake on his actual birthday and then an entire cake the next day for his party, I realized I didn't take any pictures b/c I suck so here is one I stole from his mommy's blog

Jo Jo asked to be on the blob (as she calls it) so without further ado here she be

Be careful what you ask for, don't worry only like 6 people read this anyway and what do you expect from Beth and I?

So people have been asking us about names a lot and I have nothing to tell them except maybe Millie but we aren't even sure about that. I was hoping to use a family name but once you read our choices I think it will be obvious that we are screwed in that department so here they are: Myrtle, Rose, Margaret, Eileen, Mildred, Lifesey and as a side note Chip has/had and Uncle Tootsie whose real name was Iris Lapel. Needless to say Hell to the no! We just have to bite the bullet and look through our baby name book "Cool Baby Names" and find a cool name b/c that is what it is really all about a cool name that will make her the butt of all jokes at school like Fall (my mother's suggestion).

She has been on a kicking rampage as of late and I can actually see it when she punches me it is way freaky. Chip is always a little late and hasn't felt her kick/punch yet, this upsets him but she will judo chop in the same spot for maybe 2 chops then moves on. Other than that we are heading in to the 3rd trimester which means that besides labor I can look forward to leg cramps, hemorrhoids, fatigue, faintness and difficulty breathing. Oh joy. I bet Angelina hasn't had any of these symptoms but I like to think that she has hemorrhoids.

We did have a little scare in that the ultrasound tech at our regular doctors office could not not see all of what she needed to see of the heart and we were sent to a high risk ultra sound doctor. Everything was fine and we got to see a Doppler ultra sound which had blue and red to show us all the ventricles and stuff. It was very cool and I will have those pictures uploaded for the next update. We learned that she has ten fingers, ten toes and no cleft lip and she weighs about 2lbs at this point. I asked the tech if she had a big head b/c her dad does and she assured me her head is in proportion with her body. My va jay-jay says thank you in advance.

2008-05-18T22:42:00.006-04:00

I guess I hit my picture limit in my last post showing ya'll all the good stuff we got on our trip well here is a doosey from my mom to lighten the mood

This is what baby clothes should not look like and if any of you reading this value our friendship you will not do this to the baby. (JO JO please take note)

On the other hand we have gotten some cute and adorable items from our friends with a sense of style

you may continue to purchase cute and adorable clothing items. (Katie & Tracy)

After many attempts I have gotten a picture of my baby bump to share with those who live far and away

You will notice that my ghetto booty is still in full effect, some things will never change.

So for the next blog I promise baby room pictures but to tide you over until then here is a preview of the messy crib

I also will try my best to update this blog on the regular, but there are only so many times I can bitch about sore boobies and my need to buy a bigger over the shoulder boulder holder. Maybe the next blog can be about all the name suggestions I have gotten. Billy suggested Marcus Buster if it was a boy a little play on words (Mark Ass Busta). Thanks but no thanks.

2008-05-18T21:47:00.004-04:00

If you have spoken to me in the last month or so and asked me how I have been feeling my typical reply would be "I am sooo tired I can't sleep at night I just toss and turn blah blah blah." Not anymore my friends, Chip was so kind to go to Babies R' Us and purchase my new best friend

Yes a snoogle. What is a snoogle you say, well one can only describe it as pillow heaven for ladies who are preggers and usually sleep on their back. See after the 4th month you are supposed to sleep on your side b/c if you sleep on your back the vein that runs along your spine could be less productive or something all I know is I am scared to sleep on my back b/c it could kill the baby. Not Really but now that is how I think of it and since I am used to sleeping like this

it was a problem. I would wake up on my back freaked out or Chip would wake me up yelling that I was on my back, but not anymore my precious Snoogle doesn't allow me.

We went on a adventure to Ikea and Potomac Mills this weekend to buy much needed shelves and to check out the baby store outlets. We got what we needed at Ikea (I will post pics next time b/c then the baby room will be in some sort of order instead of a mess)and then made our way to shop. I will say that I was disappointed in the "outlets" b/c they were basically the same with some more sale racks not the deep discounts I was looking for so we got a few things at Osh Kosh and Carter's but we hit the mother load at H & M. I have never seen so many freakin cute clothes in my life and we spent a bunch of $$$ there. I will let my trusty Cabbage Patch Doll model some of our scores...

I know I said no more pink but these elephants were too cute to pass up. Seriously this is what baby clothes should look like. Blogger has decided to start acting up so I will publish this post and then continue with a new one in a second...

2008-05-05T16:26:00.003-04:00

So I guess this color scheme here on the blog is appropriate as we be havin a baby girl. I can't post any pictures from the ultrasound b/c baby girl would not cooperate and stay still, what I did see reminded me of skeletor from He-Man

so it is probably for the better. I am not kidding it was kind of scary I told the ultrasound tech I didn't want a picture of her if that was what I was going to have to show people. When we go back to the doctor on June 2nd we will get another ultrasound and hopefully have pictures to show you that will not be so freaky. Other than that everything seemed to be fine according to the doctor who I talked to all of 2 minutes, now she knows how it feels when I have to wait for her for 30 minutes take that establishment! In the next few days I will post pictures of the crib and share with you some of the stuff we have gotten so far...

2008-04-21T21:06:00.004-04:00

So we just returned from our anniversary trip to Raleigh NC where we went to a flea market, ate b-b-q and slept on a horrible mattress. We got some treasures for the baby room that I find amusing and here they are in no specific order of awesomeness...

See if you can guess what my favorite treasure is. No seriously guess. We had a good relaxing time in Raleigh despite the Homestead Suites and their shitay bed and I got to go treasure huntin and Chip got to watch his pay per view of men rolling around grappling. (I don't know how he became a fan of the UFC but I blame Gene and George)
I will post a picture of the hat my mom got the baby somewhere in South America later as I forgot to take a picture of it and am now lazy. I am sad to report that it is very cute and I can find no reason to make fun of it and it is even in a gender neutral shade of green.

2008-04-13T11:07:00.006-04:00

Why pregnant women (named Blair) should not walk a 10K. So I did the 10K (Mistake #1)with a record setting pace of 17 minute miles. I should apologize to Llewellyn who did the 10K with me and now has a record worst time instead of record best time. What the 10K did to me was much worse. You see in pregnant women their ligaments begin to relax to accommodate the baby. Well after the 10K my ligaments were stretched to the max and it was painful to walk. I wish I had one of these...

*I would like to point out that I did train for this and walked 5 miles without any problems the week before.*
It wasn't just kinda painful but scary painful so we went to Patient First (Mistake #2). They said my white blood cell count was high and they had no way to monitor the baby so I needed to go to the emergency room ASAP. Now I start to panic and we go straight to St.Francis where we have to wait for what seems like an eternity to see a doctor and all I can think is that my stupid attempt to stay fit while pregnant has hurt baby, and that this baby really doesn't like exercise. Chip stayed calm while I freaked as per usual. The doctor did a pelvic exam (fun) and said everything was fine and we heard the heartbeat so I felt better after that. It was just my ligaments telling me to take it easy as we have 5 more months of this shit. I had a doc appointment on Monday anyway so I told her my tragic tale and she proceeded to tell me all pregnant women have elevated white blood cell counts and that the doc at Patient First was a tool and freaked me out for no reason. I did find out on Cinco de Mayo we will find out the sex of the baby. Ole! This is quite the coincidence since I have been craving tacos for every meal. I could eat tacos for breakfast, lunch and dinner and be happy but what would be even better would be to add bacon to the tacos then all my cravings would be satisfied but that sounds kinda gross. That's about it for the cravings besides a beer but that will have to wait. Amy asked for belly pics but those will have to wait until Chip gets home b/c the ones I tried to do myself are quite unflattering and will not be published for the world to see.

I have not started to feel the kicking yet it should happen soon but I have been told I might just think it is gas until it starts to happen regularly. I think that is the point that I will begin to really freak out that there is something in my tummy other than all the tacos I've been eating. It just better not come out like the alien from Spaceballs. My mother comes home from her cruise around South America tonight and I will post any baby related presents that she may have brought back. The good and the bad but definitely pictures of the bad. Oh we have our first baby class tomorrow evening, I will report back any findings that I think you would enjoy or might make you and me throw up.

2008-03-30T17:16:00.003-04:00

I can no longer go out in public. Well at least nowhere children will be, it scares me. I was at Marshall's looking at bathing suits that might possibly cover my expanding bump (scary in itself) when I first heard it "mommy look at this" unfortunately I would here this about 40 more times in the span of 5 minutes. No seriously I wish I was exaggerating but I'm not. To top it off her mother was not nearby so then she started screaming it, I guess her gana (grandmother) is deaf because she just let her continue doing it while pointing out the pretty beach towels. When her mother finally did come over it was like she couldn't hear the kid either cause she was having a conversation with gana about the return policy all the while "mommy look at this" was in the background pointing to anything and everything trying to get her attention. I wanted to scream at them to shut up and look at the damn two piece bathing suit the troll child was pointing at. What the hell am I going to do? What if my child is a brat? I am scared at how easily it is for me to get annoyed with a child...

I think my mom thinks we are having a girl...

She gave these to me last week and once again they are gender specific pink and brown and yes we still do not know if we are having a boy or girl. Oh mom...

Other than that the bump is starting to show and I will soon be wearing the maternity clothes that I have broken down and bought. I will tell you there are some ugly maternity clothes out there and they are all cheery and bright not so much my style. I have been getting headaches lately that suck pretty bad, about once a day they come hopefully this will go away soon. I have nothing else to bitch about for now but in two weeks expect a sweet post as my mother returns from her trip to South America with baby goodies I can only imagine, can anyone say baby baja?

2008-03-16T12:38:00.000-04:00

So the tummy touching has begun. I don't like being touched most of you know this, I am not touchy feelie kinda person never have, never will. I am kinda showing, not enough for people to think I'm preggers it just looks like I have been downing Miller Lights like nobodys business. (Oh those were the days) The problem is when I see people for the first time who know they want to touch it like they are magically connecting with the blob they are not, just my stretch marks. I also had someone lift up my shirt, that was weird to say the least and I should have given them a judo chop to the hand but I didn't.

We went to the doctor this week and got some new pictures so now it actually looks like a little alien human with a profile and everything

It also looks like it has chicken wings for feet. The ultrasound lady had a hard time getting the pictures b/c the little bugger was very active all squirming around and not floating still. We are in trouble.

Last Saturday I dragged Chip to a giant children's yard sale at a church. We arrived 15 minutes before it started and there was already a huge line. I should have known then how crazy it was going to be. Chip lasted 5 minutes before he was ready to go, this was after being repeatedly run into with a stroller by a lady who thought he was a fixture or something. We got some stuff mainly a Baby Bjorn and some unisex clothes with no scalloped edging. Being that I like to make our dogs lives easier in any way possible I decided lazy Kevin would enjoy being carried around in the Baby Bjorn contraption. I was wrong.

Well I thought it was funny. So as promised in the last post I will discuss Diamond Jim's plans for the blob or as a commenter suggested pugsley. He has already bought an 1800's cradle thing it looks uncomfortable but now he wants to buy an 1800's high chair. Hell No! I realize Jim's house has a certain look but he is just gonna have to buy something modern without crystals on it this time. I like vintage things but I know better than to trust a baby in a crib from the 1950's no matter how good it looks. He also plans on teaching the child how to polish silver and set a table.

Katie also informed me that boy babies can have erections in the womb. How she knows this I don't want to know. I like to think it is a joke but according to the Internet it is not. So thank you Katie for grossing me out.

Until next time...

2008-03-09T19:32:00.000-04:00

We are now at the 12 week 3 days mark and go back to the doctor's tomorrow. Chip does not like our doctor b/c he thinks she is all business which when it comes to my va jay jay and baby I guess I don't mind so much. Sure it would be nice if she was a bit more outgoing and friendly but then I might want to punch her like Kathie Lee Gifford. (I promise not to talk ad naseum about my child nor will I name them Cody or Cassidy.)

My biggest concern right now is how much weight I am going to gain and wonder if I am going to look like this

or like this

I am guessing more like the first photo since A) Like to eat and B)I am not rich.
All I know is I've been walking at least 2 miles everyday and lifting weights 2 to 3 times a week so at least I am doing something right?

I love my mom. I feel like that needed to be said for what I am about to show you. My dear, dear mother has been shopping til her hearts content which for her is a lot. The first item my mother purchased and showed me is a Christmas stocking, not just any stocking mind you this thing is seriously like 3 feet long and has a scary, sequined stork on it with a pink hat and to top it off it has legs. Here let me show you

This is how I feel about said stocking

She has also purchased a designer sweater featuring a cat. The only problem with the sweater is it is a 2 T (A size 2 in Toddler for those not in the know) and it is a girls sweater. No we do not yet know if we are having a boy or girl we won't know for 2 more months. The best part is that my mom insisted that it is unisex. It is not

Clearly a girl sweater. All I can hope is that she has gotten it out of her system until we know the sex.

Ok this is getting long and my back hurts stay tuned for the next update where i will tell you about Diamond Jim's scary plans for our baby (Think 1800's high chair and tiaras) and Katies disturbing information on baby boners.

2008-02-17T19:42:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the interweb and my updates for those who give a shizz about my pregnancy and what not. We are at about 10 weeks and I am finally beginning to not feel so ill na na which is nice. I am however tired as hell which I thought would be ending by now but alas it is not, I sleep way too much and feel extremely lazy which sucks but i am going to sign up for the 10K that happens in April and walk it, I hope that motivates me somewhat. Ok so thats it for now, not very exciting I know but hey its only the size of a kidney bean so there is not much to tell other than my boobs hurt and I don't think you really care about that.