My failed attempt at socializing Millie.

Recently it has become a mission of mine to make sure that Millie plays with other children her age, well consider me the Titanic of socialization.

Attempt number one occurred on a Saturday when we decided to go to cartwheels and coffee www.cartwheelsandcoffee.com It looked like it could be fun and being on Cary Street there were bound to be young, "hip" parents there. We get there and there are two kids there which am thinking is good because it won't be overwhelming for Millie. We go to pay and turn around and both sets of parents are packing there kids up to leave.

Umm do we smell? Is my child hideous? WTF!

So we stay and play for an hour and no other kids come in. Ok so it may have been around noon (a typical kids nap time) and it was kind of warm out but I thought for sure there would be other kids. I also didn't realize that it is affiliated with a church until I started looking around and noticed that they had daycare during church over at the Byrd and saw this

I kid they didn't really have that sign hanging up in there so we will try it again on a crappy day when kids are sure to be there.

Well I was so gung ho about having Millie play we went to the CTC (Chesterfield Town Center for those no in the know)and go to their little kid play area. We make it over there and it's not very crowded maybe 5 kids so I think Millie can do this. It starts out fine we go in and she heads for some spinning toy and she is content to spin these blocks with pictures on them for about 5 minutes. Then out of nowhere this girl (who for the rest of this tale I will refer to as Snotasauraus Rex)comes over to say hi to Millie. Millie just looks at her because 1) she is shy 2) this kid is freaky looking with snot all over her face and 3) she has the look of pure evil in her eyes

Snotasauraus Rex says hi and then proceeds to tackle Millie pulling her to the ground. Millie loses her shit crying instantaneously and I do to trying to pry her off. The person "watching" her I can only conclude is her older teenage sister who is busy messing with her giant Real Housewives of Orange County looking earring and does nothing. I grab Millie and have to hold her for 10 minutes before she will get down. We try again it's fine for 2 minutes before Snotasauraus Rex comes over again and this time brings along her brother who is like the dinosaur that can spit stuff because he has snot and spit coming out of him and is getting it all over the place. Again she tries to attack Millie and I get in her way and knock her down like a linebacker.

Just kidding I do get in the way but do not knock her over. Her mother is back from wherever she came from (i think it's hell)and apologizes for Snotasauraus Rex saying she is the youngest of five kids and plays rough. I say it's fine because it is and I know that I am kind of overreacting because I haven't had Millie around too many other kids her age and Snotasauraus Rex is a kid and kids play. I am so going to be overprotective, I can't help it I am a control freak. Well what I couldn't control even with hand sanitizer liberally applied after "playing" was the sickness that has consumed my precious Millie Willie.

Millie has been sick for six days with high fevers, a rash and double ear infections. It has been the scariest thing ever, mainly because the fever and not knowing how to help her feel better.

We took her to the doctor on Wednesday and they said everything looked ok and to just give her Motrin. Well by Friday she still had a fever and now had a rash all over her torso and head, we call them and they say if she still has a fever the next day bring her in. Next day she still has a fever so we go to the doctor's where they proceed to tell us she has a double ear infection and they don't know what the rash is. They give us an antibiotic and tell us if by Monday the fever hasn't gone away she needs to come in for blood work. Holy Shit tell me why the frick she would need blood work and that nothing is wrong with her. Luckily today (Sunday)she woke up with no fever and the rash is going away. So I am being optimistic (against my nature I know)that everything will be ok and that Snotasauraus Rex didn't get the best of Millie just my heartstrings.

Being a parent may be the scariest, hardest and freakiest thing I've ever done but so far it's been the most rewarding.

Millie in a Dress with bo bo fake Ugg boots, I call them Fugs.

The Souchuns come thru again.

Yeah for Christmas time and beverages and FurReal.

Latte the devil dog that humps my mom's arm all the time.

Happy Holidays!

Aww her first baby doll.

Christmas did not go as expected.

For Millie’s big present we got her an indoor inflatable bouncer. Words can not describe how stoked Chip and I were to give this to her. Since the day it was delivered I had to restrain myself from opening it early and letting her get her bounce on but I prevailed over my inner child and waited til Christmas. First off once we opened it on Christmas and took it outside to start blowing it up Chip realized that he didn’t have the right adapter for the compressor we had so a few calls later we learned that his mother did and she said she would bring it over later when she came for brunch. We couldn’t wait so chip went and got it. So he got home and started blowing it up with Gramber (Greg & Amber) and my mom while I kept Millie occupied in the other room. Once it was blown up we let Millie walk into the room to discover it. Well as she walked into the room and saw the monstrosity she burst out into tears and not just little tears but full on bloody murder tears. (Much like her birthday) We tried to put her in it and you would have thought it was full of flames, snakes , broccoli or some other horrible awful thing the way she was trying to get away from it. For the rest of the day she stayed away from it like the plague and I was so bummed out b/c I was sure she would love it, goes to show you how well I know my child huh? Well don’t worry it wasn’t money down the tubes b/c the next day she got in it and loved it, she just gets in it and bounces her heart out and if I tell her to get in her house she will go in it just like the dogs…

The rest of Christmas was great, we had brunch at 2 and everyone came over and ate all the food that Chip and Kelly had made. We had a lot of food baked oatmeal, hashbrown casserole, grandpa’s special stuffing (mozzarella, prosciutto, pepperoni and garlic bread) ham, carrots and our traditional eggrolls that a friend of chip’s mother makes every year and gives us some as well and they are good! I wish I had taken a picture of the spread b/c it was a sight to say the least. Mille ate lots of oatmeal and the casseroles.

Millie got way too much stuff so it was good that Chip and I decided only to get her a few things. She was very fond of the creepy baby doll and stroller that Gramber got her, her fake cat we call FurReal b/c it meows at her and blinks (it’s creepy) and the book the Souchuns gave about a cat and sprinkles that I am already sick of reading. I think the best part was having everyone around b/c Millie loves having an audience and she had so many people to choose from who could follow her around watching her walk and point at the Christmas tree and the ornaments.

Next year should be interesting b/c she should have some concept of Santa and that she’s going to get stuff vs. this year where she just wanted to rip up the paper and sit in the boxes. Not that what it is all about but really who doesn’t like a present?

In other Millie related news she is a walking champ which makes going out in public a little bit more difficult b/c she want’s to walk everywhere and that isn’t always feasible and I am not going to put her on a leash that just seems cruel. She has more teeth coming in which has made her a little grumpier than usual but it’s a molar and that has got to hurt. Her total teeth count is up to 9 and they are kinda funky looking. One of the bottom ones is coming in behind the other two. I am betting that she will have the Cooke gap. I just hope this isn’t a glimpse of what her real teeth will look like b/c they be funky… We are debating putting her in daycare once a week b/c she needs to be around other children so she doesn’t become the kid who doesn’t share (AKA The Brat) I am really scared of her just getting sick all the time. We shall see.

Millie has also decided that she doesn’t give kisses anymore she will only blow you a kiss and she equates that to meaning goodbye however she will greet you with a wave and a very high pitched hi! Other words in her vocabulary are mama, dada, ball and woof woof. Chip says he taught her to meow but I have yet to hear that so I don’t believe it. When you ask her what a lion says she will say rowr while moving her hand in a clawing motion which is really funny.

Millie in her Snuggie

Cute Santas

Millie and Oola

Millie in her toy basket

So it's been a little bit since the last post. I had one all ready to go about Millie not walking and how annoying it was that everyone asked me about it and then the squirt went and walked so it was a bust. So yes Millie is full on zombie walking, sometimes with her hands in the air like we are up in da' club or something. She now is able to grab things off of the tables and pretty much everywhere else which means my "treasures" are all up high and I'm out of room for anything else until she learns and listens to my pleas of no.

We've decorated for Christmas which means the tree is in our front room that we are never in with a gate around it so Millie can't eat/destroy any ornaments and the dogs can't pee on it. I have all my creepy Santas in the living room and Millie points at them when I ask her where is Santy? We also have a big plastic Santa on top of our carport that Millie likes to point at and go "ohhh." Not to fear our annual Christmas card will be mailed out soon but I fear we can't top last years baby jeebuz card so you all will have to deal.

I have been busy crafting it up making Millie a Snuggie, felting wool skirts and sweaters to make wreaths and trees and hemming curtains.

I am working on starting another blog entitled "My Creepy Friends" and actually keeping this one up to date... Wish me luck.

Also Millie had her picture taken with Santa and she hated it. She cried as soon as I put her in his lap. It was funny.

Halloween/Pumpkin Patch

So last Sunday the fam made our annual trip to the pumpkin patch. As we are in a recession and all I didn't feel like forkin out the big bucks to get ripped off at The Chesterfield Berry Farm or The Ashland Berry Farm where it costs $ just to get in the door. As luck would have it I found this farm www.gallmeyerfarms.com . Not only is it close by but they have free hayrides! It is really a mom and pop place and Millie loved it. We got there grabbed a wagon and headed out to the pumpkin patch. Once Millie saw all of the pumpkins I thought she would lose her mind, all she could do was point everywhere and go "oh, oh, oh!" We let her play with the pumpkins and all the scarecrows then went back and paid for our pumpkins. We got 4 pumpkins for $19 and I even got a white pumpkin, which is my favorite. We will going back next year recession or not...

Ahh Halloween... My favorite holiday yet this year we did zero decorating mainly out of fear that Millie would try to eat anything we put up and or destroy any decorations. I decided we would go to the Children's Museum to play/Trick or Treat. It seems that every other person in Richmond had this idea and needless to say it was a disaster. After being told 5 different things about which line to get in we made it inside, and that's where it went downhill. There were so many people and kids were running wild it stressed me out. We made it into the little kids area which was a barn and since Millie was a chicken it was ideal, until I put her in the "Crawlers Patch" which is supposed to be for little ones who can't quite walk yet. They had oversized fake pumpkins, tomatoes and carrots and other fun stuff to play with and Millie was having a good time until these big kids who were like 6 or 7 jumped in there and started grabbing the oversized produce and throwing it around. Myself and another mom had to lay down the law and kick them out and then their parent's wanted to know why we were yelling at their kids, and we had to let them know that the area was for little kids henceforth the name "Crawlers Patch." They were pissy but left. I have no tolerance for parents who let their kids run wild. I already had to yell at some red-headed brat who tried to karate chop Millie at Kangaroo Jac's I'll be dammed if I let some kid throw a giant pumpkin at her. Anywho there were lot's of teenage "workers" at the museum who were too busy texting to keep any sense of order and we promptly left without Trick-or-Treating. Needless to say we won't be going back next year.

Millie had fun but since she will be walking next year we will hopefully be able to just walk around the hood and it will be much more enjoyable and much less crowded...

You can give me the award now for worst blogger ever, it's cool. I have been sooo tired lately I just don't have the heart to sit down and type, don't worry I'm not preggers again.

So Millie had her first birthday on September 5th and it was great. The theme, and I use that term loosely, was mermaids. I actually sewed a fabric banner, made paper garland flags and some other decorations which of course Millie didn't give to craps about but I was proud of myself. Chip as usual made too much food, (but it was all yummy)we had Tres Leches cake from La Sobrasita bakery on Midlothian Trnpk (a layer of chocolate and a layer of strawberry) and Millie got to hang with her main man's Henry and her new bestie Merit. We played one game b/c I love games (pin the bow on the bald baby) and when it came time so sing Happy Birthday Millie cried like nobody's business. It was funny. I think everyone had a good time and hopefully left stuffed and content.

The Souchuns came down from Connecticut and got Millie a wagon which i now have to take her out in everyday b/c she sits in front of the window and points at it repeatedly. It's good b/c it makes me exercise and Millie just bounces up and down while we stroll the neighborhood.

She is almost walking on her own, she has gotten braver about letting go so it's only a matter of time before all my beloved treasures will have to be put on top shelves or away...

I don't have a good tooth picture yet but the top two are coming in as I type so she looks pretty funny when she smiles. I am also sad to let you all know that Chip has taught her how to "raise the roof" which i lamented was way to 90's but her persisted and now she could be in a re-make of Cool as Ice.

We haven't had any success at blowing kisses b/c she just keeps hitting her head so that may take longer...

Well I haven't been keeping up with the blog mainly out of laziness and the fact that Millie is now on the move and is wearing me out.

In major news we made a huge road trip to Chicago for T-bird's wedding.

We broke it up some but we were still in the car for 7-8 hours every day, it sucked but Millie really only freaked out once so it could have been so much worse.

The wedding was booty-ful and fun, don't worry I got my dance on.

Whilst in Chicago we went to the Lincoln Zoo and the Shedd Aquarium, we learned that Millie loves monkeys and beluga whales.

We now have to constantly keep an eye on the Milkster she is crawling and in to everything. She likes to turn the Wii on and off and mess with the CD cases. She is also waving bye-bye and pointing at everything she sees. Her favorite thing to do is go look at the pictures in the hallway and try to tell us who she sees.

Millie and I took a plane ride to NYC to visit or CT. family. The plane ride up was sucky b/c we were stranded on the runway for 50 minutes b/c a VIP was landing at JFK. The VIP was Obama and while I voted for him I was totally pissed at him for making my baby cranky on the plane and stressing me out. The way back was much better she slept the entire time.

Our Ct. visit was great and Millie got to spend time with her main man Henry eating pizza, chocolate cheesecake and going for rides in his F-150 power wheel. We also attended Ned's high school graduation party. People I used to be his nanny and now he's graduating high school it made me feel old and like I should be a grown up but I don't feel grown up at all just like a kid with wrinkles...

Millie is having a mermaid themed b-day party soon and i can't wait for it. I can't believe it's been almost a year since I popped her out. We are planning to do a time capsule and a game or two but that's about it. I will try to stay on top of this thing...

Also we visited Michael Jackson's childhood home in Gary, Indiana on the way home. It was nine in the morning and the po po were in full force and lots of people were there taking pictures and leaving mementos. My favorite was the one dish glove laying on a wreath. Thanks MJ...

So next week Millie will be 9 months old! I know I say it all the time but I still can't believe how fast it goes by. I held a co-workers 5 week old baby yesterday and he was soooo tiny and it blows my mind that Millie was ever that small.

Millie has started pointing at things which I find to be adorable but I also think her farting is adorable so take from that what you will. Her teeth are also slowly coming up more and more and she seems to be doing fine with them. She still is an uber happy baby and I hope she stays that way forever (happy not a baby, that would be weird) but I fear the teenage years are going to be payback.

New things she is doing is making a clicking noise, scooting on her but like a dog and hating chunky stage 3 foods.

Here are some pics of our fabu new patio and Millie in her bathrobe. Scandalous!

Ok still no Taggie photos but this weekend I will take pictures of that and our new patio! Yes Chip and I managed to make a patio that doesn't look horrible. Imagine that. It only took us a month but whatever it's done.
To hold you over here are some pics. I hope there aren't any repeats...

Spring has sprung, which means Millie gets to wear cute dresses, bloomers and hats.
Also she has discovered her feet and she thinks they are delicious, she obviously hasn't encountered any toe jam yet. She is on her way to crawling as she keeps putting her hands down and squirming her legs but no actual movement yet, which is good b/c we are way behind on babyproofing. We needs to get on that. In monumental news I actually sewed something that doesn't suck... A taggie blanket for Millie after my mom lost the one we had on a walk. My mom is oblivious so she didn't notice when Millie "threw" it out of the stroller. Umm that baby can't throw things, my mom's dog Maggie (who rides in the stroller with Millie b/c she is an obese Chihuahua and doesn't like to walk) more than likely ate it. I will post pictures of the miracle taggies in a few days. They even look square, wonders never cease.

On a side note about my mom's dog, the thing is huge and it wheezes when it walks/waddles. When we tell her the dog is fat she says she has put it on a diet. "What kind of diet mom?" "I stopped giving her Puperroni." Nuff said. That dog is f'ed. *A glimpse of this dogs future

Happy Easter!

Millie did not like the Easter Bunny, in fact she seemed terrified and kept looking up at shim like it was going to eat her. I selected the bunny from Chesterfield Town Center over the bunny at Regency b/c it was creepier and had glasses. I have decided next year to rent a bunny rabbit costume and set up a booth at the Easter Day parade to make mad loot, really it was crazy expensive for this picture and its not even centered.

Millie is becoming quite vocal and even said da-da, we aren't sure if she has made the connection but Chip is convinced she has and rubs it in my face. She likes to babble at her toys and now likes to slam her toys to hear the noise it makes.

We have started giving her solids 2 times a day and she loves it. She is getting better about eating and not making such a mess, except while at Grandma's b/c she comes home covered in food. It looks like my mom just throws food at her hoping some of it goes in her mouth.

Thanks to Amy and Henry, Millie has become obsessed with Taggies. You see babies love to play with the tags on all their toys etc... and not the actual toy so some brilliant and now rich mom made blankets, toys etc... that are just covered in tags, hence forth Taggies. Taggies ain't cheap so I have kidded myself into believing that I can make a Taggie blanket myself so we will see how that goes.... Thank You Amy and Henry again they are her new favorite toys.

Ok so I interrupt our regularly scheduled Millie talk... On Wednesday night I got to re-live my tween years by attending the NKOTB concert (that's New Kids on the Block for those of you not with it.) We (Me, Erin & Tracy) got floor seats, they were expensive but I am 30 years old and could afford them so we got them, it was worth it. My plan for the evening was for us to go get there early and have dinner at Gibson's Grille but we quickly realized that was ever other NKOTB's fan's plan as well so we ended up hightailing it to Capitol Ale House. We got some drinks so we could be tipsy for the concert and Tracy got hit on by some dude who tried to say he was also a NKOTB fan, he was lying b/c he couldn't name any of them...So we left and on our way back to the coliseum some dudes randomly asked us if we were going to see the New Kids and before anyone could answer I yelled NO like he was stupid for even asking us that (of course I was wondering why he would ask us that were we that obvious) So we get there get more drinks and head to our seats at this point it is dark and the opening act is on the jabbewockez from america's best dance crew

You know the dudes with masks... they were lame from what we saw nothing exciting but we were there at the very end maybe they were better in the beginning. (more about them later.) So the lights come up and you can see everyone. OMG! crimped hair, neon NKOTB shirts, gay men galore, giant buttons and of course the two tallest guys ever right in front of me. I was not stoked I almost asked him if he would sit down for $20 b/c I knew he girlfriend had dragged him there. So the show started and so did the screaming, I screamed some but at one point we all had our fingers in our ears b/c it was too damn loud, get a grip ladies. They came out in all black and should have stayed in those outfits. They also changed into all silver and white ensembles which were lame. Joey was wearing a giant sparkly belt buckle and sparkly jacket. He needs a new stylist, it is probably the same person who told him to wear this

So they finish some songs and it goes dark, thinking it might be over I am pissed then the lights come up and they are freaking right behind us on this circular stage with a piano. People go ape shit and they sing 3 or 4 songs. While this is all going on the security people are all in a tizzy to our right with some giant long rope, we then realize they are going to walk right past us since we have the end of the aisle seats. Tracy goes into the next row so we can all position ourselves against the rope and when they come by I grope them all yes, even Danny but the best was I grabbed Joey's man boob and tried to rip a sequin from his jacket. So the rest of the concert was fun besides the stupid song they "sang" with the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls. She wasn't there in real life but on the giant screen behind them lame... Donnie was really funny and there closing song was Hangin Tough and they all had on their Celtics jerseys b/c you know they love Boston. When we left we went out by the tunnel that leads into the coliseum and girls were all around so we went and had a look. There were people milling about and I realized some of them were Jabbawockeez. So I had to start yelling at them to "Just Dance, it will be okay" (lady Gaga people) and some other dumb things. It was funny and they were laughing too and taking video of me yelling at them to dance b/c we missed them. Look for it on youtube. And then it was over, see you again in 20 years in your wheelchairs NKOTB.
Also they could have just used robots for Danny and Jonathan it was like they weren't even there.

We went to the doctor for Millie's 6th month check-up, she is weighing in at 14lbs and 14 oz and is 25 3/4 inches long. Right now long and lean but the way she has been eating she may end up being a hoss. We started her on for real solids last week and she is lovin her some apples, sweet potatoes, and recently squash.(Don't worry her food is all organic, my baby don't eat no pesticides.) Today we fed her squash in the morning and at night and after her 6 oz bottle before bed she demanded 3 more oz, if this keeps up she will look like this...
This weekend we will attempt to make our first batch of baby food with our newly acquired food mill. We make a big batch of food then put it in ice cube trays and freeze it for later which is so much cheaper in the long run. I am scared however of when we get to making more complicated meals such as Umm gross I am not "making" baby food ham, the color of that stuff looks ill na na I can't imagine grinding ham up into a smooth consistency. Millie is also getting some more hair which is exciting for me since I was bald until age 3 and do not wish that fate upon my child. It is coming in on the sides which may pose a problem when she looks like an 80-year-old man with just hair on the sides. Girl best like hats.

Yes there have been a lack of updates, I apologize whole-heartily but I was the sickest I have ever been in my life two weeks ago and just busy in general. But we did give Millie her fist solid food two nights ago. As you can tell from the pictures she wasn't that into it, but if you tried it (and I did) you wouldn't be into it either. Rice cereal is gross so we are going to move on to something a bit tastier when the snow peaces out and we can leave the house. Yes lil' ol' Richmond got snow like 7 freaking inches of it. Chip attempted to sled down our driveway but it is too powdery and he went nowhere. Millie didn't seem to mind it but the Oscar and Kevin were not having it, Obi loved it and was playing in it.

Millie will be 6 months old this week, I still can't believe how much she has grown and changed in such a short time. I also can't fathom how much I love her, seriously you can never imagine how much you will love your lil' booger until you experience it.

She has not caught on to rolling over still. She gets from her back to her tummy but then cries about it. I have tried letting her cry to figure it out but that lasts about 1 minute before I succumb to her tears and help her. We go to the doc next week so I can give you her latest stats then.

In other new I am going to see NKOTB in two weeks and we got floor seats! I figured I am old enough to buy the good seats so I should no matter the cost. Obviously I am not old enough to know better. At least I didn't go on the NKOTB cruise, but I thought about it...

So we found out over the weekend that Millie does not like glasses. Chip says it's because he taught her to hate nerds. Anyways, Chip had a Superbowl party and Billy and Ben were there, both wear glasses and anytime she got near them she started to cry. It could be she just doesn't like Billy or Ben and really who would blame her? I kid. Millie rarely cries so it must have been the glasses. So this is a warning to not wear glasses near my kid or she may cry and I can do nothing to stop it but break your glasses...

In Millie fashion news we got her a bathing suit, it is a tasteful two-piece and not some skanky bikini so don't worry.