I can no longer go out in public. Well at least nowhere children will be, it scares me. I was at Marshall's looking at bathing suits that might possibly cover my expanding bump (scary in itself) when I first heard it "mommy look at this" unfortunately I would here this about 40 more times in the span of 5 minutes. No seriously I wish I was exaggerating but I'm not. To top it off her mother was not nearby so then she started screaming it, I guess her gana (grandmother) is deaf because she just let her continue doing it while pointing out the pretty beach towels. When her mother finally did come over it was like she couldn't hear the kid either cause she was having a conversation with gana about the return policy all the while "mommy look at this" was in the background pointing to anything and everything trying to get her attention. I wanted to scream at them to shut up and look at the damn two piece bathing suit the troll child was pointing at. What the hell am I going to do? What if my child is a brat? I am scared at how easily it is for me to get annoyed with a child...

I think my mom thinks we are having a girl...



She gave these to me last week and once again they are gender specific pink and brown and yes we still do not know if we are having a boy or girl. Oh mom...

Other than that the bump is starting to show and I will soon be wearing the maternity clothes that I have broken down and bought. I will tell you there are some ugly maternity clothes out there and they are all cheery and bright not so much my style. I have been getting headaches lately that suck pretty bad, about once a day they come hopefully this will go away soon. I have nothing else to bitch about for now but in two weeks expect a sweet post as my mother returns from her trip to South America with baby goodies I can only imagine, can anyone say baby baja?

So the tummy touching has begun. I don't like being touched most of you know this, I am not touchy feelie kinda person never have, never will. I am kinda showing, not enough for people to think I'm preggers it just looks like I have been downing Miller Lights like nobodys business. (Oh those were the days) The problem is when I see people for the first time who know they want to touch it like they are magically connecting with the blob they are not, just my stretch marks. I also had someone lift up my shirt, that was weird to say the least and I should have given them a judo chop to the hand but I didn't.





We went to the doctor this week and got some new pictures so now it actually looks like a little alien human with a profile and everything









It also looks like it has chicken wings for feet. The ultrasound lady had a hard time getting the pictures b/c the little bugger was very active all squirming around and not floating still. We are in trouble.



Last Saturday I dragged Chip to a giant children's yard sale at a church. We arrived 15 minutes before it started and there was already a huge line. I should have known then how crazy it was going to be. Chip lasted 5 minutes before he was ready to go, this was after being repeatedly run into with a stroller by a lady who thought he was a fixture or something. We got some stuff mainly a Baby Bjorn and some unisex clothes with no scalloped edging. Being that I like to make our dogs lives easier in any way possible I decided lazy Kevin would enjoy being carried around in the Baby Bjorn contraption. I was wrong.

Well I thought it was funny. So as promised in the last post I will discuss Diamond Jim's plans for the blob or as a commenter suggested pugsley. He has already bought an 1800's cradle thing it looks uncomfortable but now he wants to buy an 1800's high chair. Hell No! I realize Jim's house has a certain look but he is just gonna have to buy something modern without crystals on it this time. I like vintage things but I know better than to trust a baby in a crib from the 1950's no matter how good it looks. He also plans on teaching the child how to polish silver and set a table.

Katie also informed me that boy babies can have erections in the womb. How she knows this I don't want to know. I like to think it is a joke but according to the Internet it is not. So thank you Katie for grossing me out.

Until next time...

We are now at the 12 week 3 days mark and go back to the doctor's tomorrow. Chip does not like our doctor b/c he thinks she is all business which when it comes to my va jay jay and baby I guess I don't mind so much. Sure it would be nice if she was a bit more outgoing and friendly but then I might want to punch her like Kathie Lee Gifford. (I promise not to talk ad naseum about my child nor will I name them Cody or Cassidy.)

My biggest concern right now is how much weight I am going to gain and wonder if I am going to look like this

or like this

I am guessing more like the first photo since A) Like to eat and B)I am not rich.
All I know is I've been walking at least 2 miles everyday and lifting weights 2 to 3 times a week so at least I am doing something right?

I love my mom. I feel like that needed to be said for what I am about to show you. My dear, dear mother has been shopping til her hearts content which for her is a lot. The first item my mother purchased and showed me is a Christmas stocking, not just any stocking mind you this thing is seriously like 3 feet long and has a scary, sequined stork on it with a pink hat and to top it off it has legs. Here let me show you

This is how I feel about said stocking

She has also purchased a designer sweater featuring a cat. The only problem with the sweater is it is a 2 T (A size 2 in Toddler for those not in the know) and it is a girls sweater. No we do not yet know if we are having a boy or girl we won't know for 2 more months. The best part is that my mom insisted that it is unisex. It is not

Clearly a girl sweater. All I can hope is that she has gotten it out of her system until we know the sex.

Ok this is getting long and my back hurts stay tuned for the next update where i will tell you about Diamond Jim's scary plans for our baby (Think 1800's high chair and tiaras) and Katies disturbing information on baby boners.